I'm not the only photographer in the house

No, silly, Rufus is not a photographer! The Roommate has a great eye for composition as well and I just happen to have a few examples of his work.

The Roommate took this shot facing straight up the side of our friend's building in LA, just across the street from McArthur's Park. I really like the perspective and repetitive pattern.

You're probably thinking this isn't that outstanding a shot, but the circumstances are are quite interesting and hello, these dogs bark in Czech! This photo was taken on our trip to the ghetto outside of Prague; we were looking at the old abandoned warehouse behind this fence and were just about to climb the fence to check it out when these cute little puppies charged out of no where and changed our minds. I didn't think to capture this vacation moment on film, but the Roommate did. Not your typical holiday snapshot. (I know I keep threatening to tell the story about the time we took an unguided day trip to Prague's ghetto, but one day I will.)

I love the composition of this shot and it's just an excellent example of what comes to mind when you're thinking about homes in the Hollywood Hills. So very "California". Great curved lines and wonderful color.

I call this one "Bad Dog", and you really don't know which of us is being punished, do you?

Continuing with our "vacations with ghetto visits" theme, the Roommate took this one on the bus in Cancun. Yes, they too have a ghetto, and a Walmart*!

This is one of those hold-the-camera-out-in-front-of-you-and-snap-a-self-portrait shots. Pretty good framing if you ask me.

I have one more shot to add but Blogger thinks I've been piggie enough already and won't let me upload another, so I'll repost.

* I hate Walmart but everyone in Cancun was all a-buzz about it.

I'm A Great Photographer (or Anyone Can Snap A Good Shot Every Once In A While) numero dos

This is installment #2 of my photo essay proclaiming my creative and technical superiority as a photographer (almost spewed tea through my nose as I wrote that one).

I like this photo because of the balanced composition and sharpness/clarity of the shot in spite of not using a flash. Small victories, people, it's all about small victories.

I love this shot because I love Hunter S. Thompson (and the Roommate, too).

I think this photo should hang in a gallery somewhere because of the subject matter (duh!) and the perspective. And because you know sooooo well that Rufus is stalking that doggie in the background.

I like this photo because a) I was drunk when I took it and didn't remember taking it at all, not even when I saw it on my camera the next day and b) because it tells a story.........about a lonely Santa bribing an innocent elf with a glass of grog. Hey, I didn't say it was a pretty story.

I think this photo of a very simple flower arrangement works well because of the color and the cropping. You can take a shit photo and do it worlds of good with a little snipping here and there. Kinda worked for Cher, in a plastic surgery kinda way.

This one works because it's just so silly and dear ol' Rufus puts his heart into posing for me. He's such a ham.

Ok, that's all for this installment, but fear not, there's plenty more where these came from!

Rufus, thinking*

My new favorite photo of Rufus; thought I'd share.

* Probably trying to figure out a new way into my pantie drawer....and no, that's not a euphemism.

Sarahbeth is upset because she thinks these photos (one of which I am deleting) are unattractive. If she wants unattractive, she need to check this shit out.

Hee hee hee hee, made you look again!

Or how about this photo; this is the photo that I was told not to post when Michelle got her teeth knocked out by a mule. She's gonna kill me when she sees this but she has to suffer to prove a point.

The point being that THIS ^ is unattractive and THIS is not. Just ask Zen Wizard, he wouldn't lie.

And I soooooooo made you look at the Binford again, didn't I?

Girl's Night Out

Sarahbeth and Aurora came all the way down from Seattle to do St Paddy's with the gang which segued* into Nekked Hot Tub which segued* to Dance Party USA (but by that time I had already gracefully passed out, so I'm only reporting that part second hand. DO NOT SUE ME IF ANY OF THAT IS INCORRECT). That was Friday night. Saturday night we met some friends at the Space Room (re: smoke 'em if you got 'em---or even if you don't just breath the air) for a bit and then we headed to Chameleon to crash a bachelorette* party that our friend Kristie* was attending. So at the Chameleon there was dancing and karaoke*........

And then more Nekked hot tubbing (tastefully cropped photo, than you very much).

*Photo deleted*

And then on Sunday there was hangover from hell---because it was "doubled down" by a nasty stomach virus/flu/curse from the devil. Still managed to post three times today, though (that's for you Shawna) and I came home early SICK from work. And my dog bit me, too (but no surprises there).
So "girl's weekend out" was a total success. Next weekend is Cirque* du Soliel*, so god only knows what germs I'll pick up there.

*Blogspot spell check has no idea what to do with these words, so if they are in fact misspelled, at least I tried.

Erin Go Barf

So I get what people mean when they say New Year's Eve and St Patrick's Day are "amateur nights"; the Roommate and I arrived just after 6:00 at one of the big block parties thrown this past Friday night and everyone else was drunk right off their asses. At 6:00, and this particular party didn't have an open bar. One chick in our party dropped 4 cocktails that I counted, another had a drink poured down her back by a guy trying to navigate the shoulder to shoulder crowd. And let me tell you, the only thing worse than being the only person not drunk out of many several hundred drunkards is being that same non-drunk person desperately trying to get their first drink and not being able to get a cocktail waitresse's attention. I tell you, that is hell on earth. And have you ever noticed people's outfits on St Paddy's Day? Ugly clothes that went out of style decades earlier and usually horribly faded, and you just know these cloth relics are saved for this one day of the year---BECAUSE THEY ARE GREEN. Imagine that you're an article of clothing, well past your prime and no longer looking "fresh" and unless you are, by the grace of god, say GREEN (or have a teddybear in a Santa hat embroidered on the front) you are doomed to become a car wash rag the second your wide lapels or ruffled skirt is a little past it's "in style" date. The Roommate was smart, he had on a button down Oxford (from Fennigan's Wake in NY) with a long sleeved T under it, with a short sleeved tee under that, just in case he got spilled or puked on (or both) he could strip away the soiled shirt and not have to walk around nekked all evening.

And there ain't NOTHIN' amateur about that.

I had a great weekend, and have the stomach flu to prove it.

Just wanted to post something really quick-like as I'm trying to get the hell out of the office. Although I had a fun fun weekend, I feel like hell (haven't be able to eat anything because of severe abdominal pains---but do you think that's going to keep me from going to dinner with my friend Pat and the Roommate? HELL NO!) and just want to go home and lay down for a bit. I'll post pictures and a brief run down later, but right now I'm just trying to take care of some business and get the fuck out of Dodge.

And no, Sarahbeth and Aurora, I'm not posting THOSE pictures.

Random thoughts

Yesterday Rufus refused to go outside to go "potty", and I tried several times, but he's a stubborn one. Finally I took a bunch of dried food and mixed in some canned dog food so it was nice and good smelling. He scarfed it all down in seconds flat. About 10 minutes later he was jumping at the door, really wanting to go outside bad. I let him out and he made a BIG BOOMBOOM! I'm so clever---I will not be mocked!

Yesterday after the Roommate and I went to the gym I stopped at the grocery store and got some wine, some sausages and a loaf of bread (three of the 4 basic food groups, I might add). When he got home he said "YOU BOUGHT BREAD? CARBS, HELLO!" and I told him I had heard a radical new theory about eating bread---that you actually didn't have to eat the WHOLE LOAF at one sitting. He didn't think it was funny but I did.

The Roommate and I also did a "dipping bread" taste test last night. Expensive olive oil and balsamic vinegar is noticeably better than their averaged-price counterparts. Unfortunately I have an "averaged-priced" budget. Fortunately the Roommate does not.

Too much green beer makes Erin go barf.

We're having friends in from out of town this weekend. In total 6 adult humans will be crashing at our house, as opposed to the normal 2. We only have one bathroom, which is ok with two people. It's going to make showering, as well as "taking care of personal business", somewhat of a challenge. Factor out that there will be much drinking of alcoholic beverages, thus there will be lots of trips to the facilities. "Get in line, bub!" is the order of the day.

If I don't talk to you this weekend, enjoy your Green Beer Holiday!

I'm A Great Photographer (or Anyone Can Snap A Good Shot Every Once In A While)

It's been a kind of unsettling week, a little personal upheaval, but nothing I can't handle. So I think I'll distract myself with a little photo essay showing what a great photographer I am. The title being (see above).

This one was taken at the beach at Tulum. I really don't get points for this shot since I seriously think it's impossible to get a bad picture from this view.

This one was taken in LA at the Standard, poolside. Very glamorous Rusty, and was used in a painting I did for him.

I love this shot although I think PETA would have issues.

This isn't a great shot but it certainly tells a story. This one was taken on a day trip to Tijuana; can you see why we ended up buying 2 velvet Elvises?

This shot was taken in Prague. The Roommate and I did a 36 hour bender tour of the ghetto that day and this hand truck was in a stable in one of the courtyards we stumbled into. It worked well in B&W. The 36 hour bender is a photo essay for another day, but I do like this shot.

This shot is from the winter of '04. We had gotten 6 inches of snow and then 2 inches of ice on top of it. This shot is of a walkway, the ice had been broken by walking on it and then more ice formed on top. I like this one, too.

Ok, kids, that's all for today.

Instant message conversation

This is a crappy photo stolen off the internet.





Her: going to red coach for lunch

Her: I know you didn't like burgers

Her: but mmmmm

Me: How are the fries there?

Her: pretty good

Her: I am going to be BFF* now

Me: Rolly polly

Her: but I haven't eaten anything yet

Me: I just scarfed down some granola. Last night I made some cheese toast (with really nice crusty bread and parmesan cheese) in the oven and the Roommate and I ate the whole fucking loaf. Then we ate cookies and finished off a bottle of wine. I LOVE THIS DIET!

Her: nice

Her: what kind of cookies

Me: Girl Scouts.

Me: Peanut butter and those thin mints.

Her: the best kinds

Me: Yep

Me: I love bread.

Her: yeah especially with CHEESE

Me: Yup

Me: We also dipped the bread in oil and balsamic vinegar.

Me: The funny part is I had planned to heat up some of that baked ziti I made on Sunday for dinner last night (after my second visit of the day to the gym) but the Roommate didn't want all the carbs. So we ate bread and cookies instead.

Me: And anything else that wasn't nailed down, come to think of it.

Me: There was some other kind of cheese, too.

Her: lol

Me: So today my lunch will be carrots and celery. Doing my penance today for the sins of last night.

Me: The "morning after" diet.

Her: haha

Her: going to lunch

Her: bb

Me: At 10:50?

Me: Jesus


* Big Fat Fatty

Exit, stage left..........

This is my friend Rob (with the Roommate) this past Xmas. Today he resigned from his job here at the company I work for. He forwarded his resignation letter to EVERYONE. Please enjoy.

Greetings fellow colleges, peers, friends, and Dilbert supervisors,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Gary, Sereda, managers like you (and several others at ELI) are sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without all of you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation effective today. However I have a few parting thoughts.

I think you've forgotten how good the people that make up this department are. That or you just don't care. The managers of this department never cease to amaze me. When you manage a department that is open 365 days a year, you might want to give them some incentive to come together as a team. Modifying an employee's time card is not an incentive. Moving hours that an NCAM tech worked on Christmas day to a day that ELI does not recognize as a holiday, to save a few bucks, isn't a "clerical error" it's illegal. Telling an NCAM tech that he doesn't qualify for bereavement pay, because the funeral for the family member that just died is on their day off-Sereda, that's low. You had an employee that worked 32 hours straight during the ice storm. Instead of thanking him for being their when you needed him, you told him he didn't qualify for adverse weather pay because he wasn't scheduled to be at work. And the list goes on and on, but let me save you some time. I thought I wanted a career with ELI, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

The problem I've had with this company had little to do with the job, or my peers, and more to do with ELI's hiring practices of their managers. Apparently when they hired them they were willing to accept any illiterate, knuckle dragger with a fetish for dirty sheets, who could scratch an "X" on the bottom of an employment application. If I truly thought it would have made a difference in your performance as a manager I would have expressed my grievances with you in a monthly meeting. Don't worry idiots! I would have laid it out clearly and in simple language, using colored blocks and flash cards if necessary.

To all my peers, thank you for all the support, guidance, and encouragement you have provided me over these years. Without you I would have never made it. I'll miss you all, and remember change is good. I wish all my friends the best in the roads they choose to walk, and wherever their careers take them. Good luck with the merger with Integra.

And finally, to all my friends, please do me one huge favor, if you ever see me thinking about coming back to this horribly humiliating, non-paying, shit-whore gig, please come over to my house and crush my testicles with a sharpened pair of soccer cleats. It would be far less painful to be testicularly imbalanced, than having to work under these monkeys again.

With a middle finger permanently extended

~Rob

When I quit I'm going to ask his professional opinion on my exit strategy.

Last night was the premier episode of the final season's of HBO's "The Sopranos", and if that episode was any indication of what we're in for this year, it's going to be one hell of a wild ride! If you haven't seen it yet and are intending to, LEAVE RIGHT NOW because I'm going to ruin it for you if you read on. So go ahead and read someone else's blog. Go ahead, git.

Now I was still preparing a wonderful baked ziti (from the Soprano Family cookbook, thank you very much) for the Roommate and I so I missed the majority of the opening montage, you know, the film clips presentation that gives you a hint at what happened in the last two years or so since the series was last on; the writers let the family and "family" continue on with their lives even though we weren't there watching. I'm going to have to go back and revisit that opening again. Hello? Janice had a kid? Not exactly mother material there if you ask me, but what the heck. And the scene with Camellia and Adriana grabbed my attention, isn't that bitch dead (meaning: her career because of the stint on Joey)???? It was interesting how the writers reacquainted us with these characters we haven't seen in a fucking LONG ASS time, which consisted of a lot of characters asking other characters "You lose weight?" and the like. And that scene where the mobster off's himself in garage (which the Roommate so totally pegged just moments before) was a tad long and gruesome (and the pissing himself at the end? Could have done without that but I guess it was kind of a nice touch in hind sight). Poor Uncle Junior has completely lost his marbles---Tony needs to watch out for the early warning signs of dementia since he's evidently gonna get the crazy gene from BOTH sides of the family (remember Olivia was a nut case just before she kicked it). Another thing Tony needs to watch out for is a bullet to the gut, but that's a whole different worry. And Johnny Sack's wife----can she gain any more weight? The Roommate thinks it's a fat suit, because seriously, how can someone get that big?

So, I'm extremely excited about the other 11 episodes coming up immediately and the final 8 early next year (I heard on NPR that there will be a break in between, just to drag it out I guess). Now if we could only get Six Feet Under back, I'd be a happy camper.

Oh, and Big Love looks promising. I missed the first 20 minutes because I forgot it was going to be on, but I'm going to go back and rewatch that one too. If you haven't already, check it out.

Weather update

Blizzard 2006! These are actual photos of our snowstorm yesterday! It's a virtual white out! It lasted less than an hour on the ground and the up to 4" predicted to fall overnight amounted to zip, zero, zilch, nada. No snow day today.

Woahhh.....

Maybe I should take that back. It's starting to stick to the sidewalk and parking lot.

Whoopeeeee! Maybe it'll be a SNOW DAY! I'LL GET OUT OF CUSTOMER AWARENESS TRAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! snownsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow

FYI for the snow day minded....

Keep these tips in mind for your own safety when it's snowing and it's a work day:

Just because the snow is sticking to the bark dust in the landscaping doesn't mean we get to shut down home early. It actually has to stick on roads and bridges and cause hazardous driving conditions.

Just because it's snowing doesn't give you free reign to singing Christmas carols out loud. Christmas was actually months ago and we had to put up with your screeching then out of politeness. It's just plain not acceptable in March.

No need to make plans for your snow day tomorrow considering the weather man says it's not going to get down to freezing tonight. It's just not gonna happen, kids, no matter how much you want it.

I don't care if you live 25 miles away and have rear wheel drive----HELLO, it's NOT sticking. In fact it's melting as soon as it hits the ground; your only hazard for your drive home is YOU.

Stop telling me it's snowing. I have a window cube, see. Window right behind me. Thanks, now get back to work.

Weather update!

Hey ya'll, it's snowing! I don't have the cable to download photos here at work so here's a photo from when it snowed in December, just so you get the idea about the nature of Blizzard 2006!

Where the hell am I?

Ok, sorry I didn't post, I'm not being lazy. I've been sick again; that same cold came back after an over indulgent weekend, either that or it's evil twin brother came for a visit, I'm not sure which. What I am sure of is I've been sick and spent the last oh, 48 hours or so, either sleeping or vegging on the couch watching movies that I've already seen for the second or third time. I really like The Upside of Anger.....again.

And the dog has been driving me crazy the whole time, barking, bouncing off walls and eating mail. At our house being sick isn't good enough, you have to be tortured by a 25 lb terrier mix as well. When the Roommate called yesterday I told him and he suggested I take the mutt to the doggie park; good suggestion, but I kind of felt like shit. He said better to feel like shit for 20 minutes at the dog park and get a reprieve for 2 hours than to just feel like shit and put up with it all day. I couldn't muster the strength, so I suffered.

Now I'm at work feeling like pooh because that's how I am. The guilt gets to me so I drag myself to work. I bargained with myself all day yesterday---I feel ok now, so maybe I should go in to work......after I have a 3 hour nap because I'm not feeling so well again----and still managed not to come in at all yesterday. Too bad I didn't give in to a nap again this morning. Is it wrong to put my head on my desk and snooze a few hours? I could really use it.

My eyes hurt.

Not a lot happening in Portland

Because I am a shameless thief, I’m stealing Will’s blog again, only problem is I live in Portland, OR, and some of these have very limited answers.

Four Portland Things:

Four Jobs I’ve Had In in Portland:
Customer Service for a telecom company (only job I’ve had here)

Four Movies About Portland I Could Watch Over And Over (there aren't a whole lot):
Elephant (it was even filmed in my neighborhood!)
Bandits
Drugstore Cowboy
You, Me And Everyone We Know (filmed in LA but is supposed to be Portland)

Four Places I’ve Lived All Over Portland:
Roommate’s house, the ex’s house. Sarahbeth could fill this up, though.

Four Portland-Themed Shows I Love To Watch:
There are no shows about Portland, unless you count the nightly news

Four Places I Would Vacation At In Portland:
Chameleon restaurant
My hot tub
Doggie park (with Rufus)---see photo above
Kennedy School

Four Portland-Based Websites I Visit Daily:
My credit union site.
My blog, since it's the only Portland based blog I know about.
The Weather Channel site (in the summer I check it every day for rain, since the Jeep top is off all summer)
My work web site

Four Of My Favorite Foods Found In Portland:
Fried chicken at Bernie’s
Lettuce wraps at Chameleon
POPEYES!!!!!!!
Acadia's Shrimp Acadia

Four Places In Portland I Would Rather Be Right Now:
In my bed (I am soooooooo hung over today---too much wine with the Oscars)
In my hot tub (ditto)
Watching a movie at Kennedy School
Doggie park (with Rufus)

Kudos to Rusty

This is my friend Rusty, who also moved to Seattle last year (this photo was taken when we all went to Prague):

When he read on my blog that I was sickly he quickly sent off this lovely "get well" card to wish me tidings of good health.

Also in the card was a newspaper headline clipping reading "Don't give your Pussy away". I'm sure there's a hidden meaning in there somewhere.

Thanks Rusty! I LOVE YOU!

Red Dress Madness

The Red Dress party is April 1st this year. If you're not familiar with Red Dress it's a benefit event that cost $35 to get in and then it's open bar all night. That's the good part. The even better part (of bad part if you're guy) is EVERYONE has to wear a red dress. This is a picture from the first year.

This is a picture from the 2nd year.


This is a picture from the first year but might as well be last year because the Roommate and I wore the same dresses three years running. I know, SHAMEFUL! So this year we're getting new dresses and I'm dragging the Monk along too.

Last year's party was especially eventful. Last year our friend Pat gave us his VIP tickets so we got to go in at 6 pm (I know, really early for a party, but stick with me) with the other VIPs for the very special version. There was a spread of food that was fabulous, gifties and things like makeovers (in case you failed to apply makeup at home). So the Roommate and I bellied up and pigged out. Problem with that is by oh, about midnight, the open bar became a problem for me. I fell down in the ladies room in from to two drag queens (which in itself is horrifying, but when the drag queens point and laugh, well, let's just say I crawled out of the restroom instead of having to face them) and decided it was time to leave. Seemed like a good idea to me. On my way out I of course grabbed my coat as it was Portland in March, so therefore a bit chilly. Since I was at the coat check I decided to pick up the Roommate's coat as well, since he'd surely forget to pick it up himself. I also decided I wouldn't go find the Roommate to tell him I was leaving because I didn't want him to worry about me and I was going to be a BIG GIRL and take care of myself. So, I grabbed the coats, caught a cab and planted myself in my bed all cozy-like. That was probably around 1 am.
Around 3 am the Roommate calls me on the home phone (had been trying on my cell, which was in the kitchen, therefore I didn't hear it) and he was not particularly happy. Turns out I had not only left with his coat, but since he had on a dress, I had his wallet---including money and ID, cell phone, and car keys in my purse. So he was stuck in the warehouse district after 3 am without a coat, any way to get home and no money for a cab. I'm a GREAT ROOMMATE, aren't I? He finally got a ride with our friend Pat and had a whole ordeal just to get to that point, and when he finally arrived at the house at around 6 am, he burst into my room, flipped on the light and yelled "YOU LEFT ME!" to which I replied "no I didn't" although what other reason could possibly explain my sleeping all comfy like in my warm bed for the last 5 hours, but it made perfect sense to me.
So, moral of the story? Two possible answers:
a) Don't leave all your stuff with me trusting I will stay sober and still be around when you're ready to leave
b) Tuck your money in your tighty whities

Now it's time to go shopping for a new red dress! Visit http://www.reddresspdx.com/RDP2006.php to get your tickets today.

Let's try this one more time........

Just a short post to update the whole "giving up something for lent" thing. It appears the masses aren't exactly behind the "give up paying for my own drinks" promise; I've gotten comments like "see ya", "gonna get kinda parched, aren't ya" and "hope you like water", as well as my favorite "good luck with that", so I'm thinking this probably is going to end up falling into the "backfired" column. With this realization just one day after my global announcement, I put on my thinking cap and decided to trie another idea. Since it's still Ash Wednesday, the opening ceremonies for Lent, I figure I still have time, at least till midnight officially. So this morning I set about trying to come up with an alternative "give up", and I have. I basically wanted to do something that would:

a) provide "grace" as in being a "holy fuckpants"
b) save me some moula
c) be at least a little healthy without going so far as giving up fried chicken or booze
d) avoid as many curt responses as possible

My solution? I'm giving up my closeted friendship with the vending machines here at work. For a few dollars a day my friends in the basement provide me with all kinds of empty calories, unwanted carbs, dangerous trans fats with their only request in payment being my hard earned change. I'm sorry soda machine, crunchy snack machine and spinning turnstiled stale sandwich dispenser, I am breaking up with you. Although you make me feel good for a short time, the glow wears off quickly which leaves me with a longing in my soul, thicker hips and an empty pocketbook. We'll call it a "trial separation" for now but you have to realize the possibility that this may just be it for us, you know, I really probably need to move on. Just like with Mr. Cancer-in-a-Capri-box, my "skinniest cigarettes in the world" chum, I will most likely come to the conclusion that I really don't need your negative impact on my life. Don't worry, there'll be others and if you've see the cows walking around here, you know won't be missing me long.

Farewell fat dispensers, takers of my lowly wages, you will be gone but not forgotten---since I have to pass your portal every working day. So long, fuckpants!

Happy Mardi Gras!

Thank you all for your well wishes, I really appreciate it and am actually feeling a little better today. By tomorrow I should be at 100%.

And...........today's Mardi Gras! And not only that it's the 150th anniversary of Mardi Gras in New Orleans! A few years ago the Roommate and I took a little trip to the Big Easy so I'm taking this opportunity to post a couple pictures from that trip. The funny thing was our plane landed 4 hours before hurricane Lulu hit, but it was a fun time none the less. The picture above is of the Roommate and I on the Mississippi River levee by Jackson Square; when the photo was taken we were in the eye of the hurricane. Thank god Lulu was NOT like Katrina.
Just a typical New Orleans day

So, in case you don't know the meaning of Mardi Gras, it's the day before Ash Wednesday and therefore you're last chance to get all your sinning out before Lent. And when Lent rolls around you "give something up" to show your support of Jesus's 40 days and 40 nights of wandering around in the desert. Yeah, I did go to Catholic school, how could you tell? Anyway, so even though I am NOT a practicing Catholic (in case anyone out there is foolish enough to think I am) I do usually give up something for lent just for fun; in the recent past it's been cigarettes, Jack Daniels and Popeye's Fried Chicken (although I was a bit of a backslider on the last one. Damn vodka!). So this morning I was wondering what I should attempt to give up this year and being a typical American I was also wondering what I could give up that would also benefit me, personally. And I came up with the perfect thing! I am please to announce I'm giving up PAYING FOR MY OWN DRINKS this year, so I need all of you to support me in this endeavor. Please pay for any drinks I may request when you see me out at bars. Also, for those not here in Ptown, please send me money, because I seriously need all of you if I plan to make it through lent without breaking my pledge. Only YOU can make this happen.

Thank you in advance for your support. Give it up for Jesus.

Got Dirt (roads)?

I'm sick! I know, you hate that I'm sick and you desperately want to send me flowers or at least a funny card to make me chuckle. That's nice, it really is, and I totally appreciate it but save your money, I'll be ok.

Eventually. But for now I feel like slightly warmed over death.

But I know the heartache of clicking on one of your favorite blogs and seeing the same ol' post that's been there for days (you know who you are) so I will buck up and try and relay a fun sight-seeing trip the Monk and I took this weekend. Guess what we went to see? Waterfalls. Yeah, again only different waterfalls. I asked him if it was a gentle hint that he wanted "golden showers" but he claims no. So, anyway, you know it rains 13 months out of the year here, so we have a lot of water lying around, wishing to jump to it's death from dizzying heights; that's called "thrill seeking water". Yep, lots of water in the Pacific Northwest. This here kamikaze water in the picture to the left (the waterfall's right) is Multnomah Falls. Those little specks of color on the bridge are actual, life-sized people. When the Monk asked why they named it Multnomah all I could come up with is "because Niagara was taken". See I told you I was sick, you really should listen to me.

But it was a fun day and we laughed forever over this one: the Monk was driving my Jeep and out of nowhere he asked "Do they have dirt roads?" and without even thinking I answered "I suppose so" not really knowing what kind of answer was expected. He laughed and said that was a dumb answer and I so no, it was the only answer for his dumb question. I know what he was thinking, about driving the Jeep, wouldn't it be fun to take it off road..........yeah, again sick.

So enjoy your non sick day. If I had any sense I'd take tomorrow off and sleep all day but I adore the extra torture of going to work not feeling well.

Yeah, I'm that sick.

I'm Hung

Last night was the opening of the 4 x 4 show and after the Monk and I got our grooves on (drank beer and wine respectively) we headed to the gallery/art store. The Roommate must have had stage fright because he choose to go to the gym and clean his room instead. Bad move, Roommate, as there was FREE wine and beer at the show (what with it being a show and all), but I digress. When we arrived at the entrance we were greeted by a wall of little tiny paintings, a portion of which is shown below:

Ohhh, what cute and tiny paintings there are! I've been to many a show* but never before have I been to one where the initial thought was "oh, look how miniature and cute!". It was almost underwhelming, but in a good way. Of course. The first painting that caught my eye was the Roommate's "Francis Sleeps", at the lower left portion of the photo above; also please see the detail below:

I gotta admit I LOVE this painting, and not because it is a self portrait of the Roommate I just love the color, subject matter placement and the fact that the Roommate stuck out his neck and did the damn thing. It was also his first show, so I really wish he had been there.

We were gazing at "Francis", pointing and marveling at it's beauty when I noticed a photographer taking shots of the work hanging on the wall. I of course stepped back as to get out of the shot, figuring it was one of the artists forever freezing this moment in history. We continued looking at the paintings, which all were quite good (it's amazing how easy it is to do "good" when your canvas is 4 inches by 4 inches), until we found "Zopa".

Now you're probably thinking "How fucking hard is it to find your own damn painting in a small herd of small paintings?"; well let me tell you, it's on the level of "finding the cutest ant". Go ahead and try to conquer that one. So we finally find "Zopa", and talk about it and point at it when a woman introduces herself as "someone's name I can't remember" from the Oregonian (which is the local Portland daily paper) and I realize she's the same chick who was just taking photos because I recognize the camera. She asks our names, I say "Susan" and then she asked for my last name (oh, the chick's name was Kim---I think) and for a moment I wonder why she asks my last name until I tell her and she writes it down. Hmmm. Then she asks the Monk his name and he says "The, t h e, Monk, m o n k" and she writes that down as well. Then she asks if it's ok if she uses us in her article. Yeah, free publicity. Kick ass. And the Roommate is gonna be sooooooooooooo jealous. Now I just need to find out when the article is gonna run in the paper so I can rub someone's nose in it. But of course, we were pointing at his painting when she took the photo, so I guess the joke's on me.

Congrats ROOMMATE for you first show (the Roommate is officially hung, if he wasn't already, which he is). Oh, and the second painting, "Rufus", never made it into the show. Rules are rules, after all.

* I was the VP and treasurer of a group of artists when I lived in Louisisan so I've been to lots of shows. But that's a story for another day. Today is all about Francis and Zopa. I'm so proud I could cry.

Hey there, chubby cheeks!

My friend Michelle just had her lower wisdom teeth taken out on Tuesday. When I say "taken out" I mean shattered, yanked, cut and and smashed out with a hammer. This was not a pretty surgery, evidently. The day after her surgery she sent me a photo of her mouth, filled with gauze and all blow fish-like, but she told me not to show anyone. I told her I was going to post it on my blog and she freaked out a lot so I didn't. (See Michelle, I AM a good friend!) She made the mistake of forwarding it to a guy she works with, mainly because he kept bugging her to send it, so when she at work today her coworkers had printed the photo off, put the photo in her office, taped a copy to her mirror and then made themselves "Michelle" masks that they wore. But still I'm not posting it. I'll be good. Here's what she looked like before she became horribly, horribly deformed.

Maybe if someone bribed me with Jack Daniels and Popeye's, well then just maybe I would post it after all.

One more for the road, please..............

This is funnier than shit. If you like the movie, buy a shirt.

Oh, I remembered what I was going to write; of course I didn't remember until AFTER I hit the "publish post" button. Anyway, evidently Sarahbeth caught Leigh's crud this weekend (probably while they were spooning on the couch) but she already planned this trip to Big D. We all know how horrible it is to get on a plane with a sicky-sickerson, so I told her to buy a bunch of Airborne and sell them for $5 a tab on the plane! I'd buy one from some poor bloke hacking and coughing their fool head off because you know who extra easy it is to catch something on a plane---easier than catching VD from a toilet seat*. Of course they'd be allowed to retrieve their tab from the tube by themselves for a $1 extra.

PS. I spell checked this post and aside from the "sicky-sickerson", and a couple proper names, I spelled everything right!



* Remember that "myth" from those old health class films we had to watch in Jr. Hi? My favorite was filmed in the late 1960s and had a theme song that went "Don't give a dose, to the one you love most....."

Oh, Update Time!

I forgot to tell ya, the voice? Still all wiskey and cigaretty. Evidently "fuckpants" is a pretty powerful word and not to be toyed with. Will should have warned me but I have a feeling he hadn't ever overused it like I did this past weekend. Let that be a lesson to you all! Don't fuck with "fuckpants"!

Also, tonight is the opening of the 4 x 4 show! I never found out if they accepted my second painting or not so I guess it'll be a surprise. I'll need to remember to take a photo and post it tomorrow to prove to all you nay-sayers (I know you're out there) that I actually got accepted to a show. The Monk is sick, so I'm not sure if I'm going to let him go or not yet. He better be taking his medicine and sleeping like I ordered him to.

And one last thing, Sarahbeth's just gone to Dallas to visit her family, so she may not post too much until she comes back early next week. So be patient with her. I was going to add something to this part but I forgot.

And as a reminder, Tuesday is Mardi Gras. Don't forget to wear your beads to work and make everyone wonder what you did to earn them!

I'm going to be all brave-like and not even spell check this post. Feel free to let me know via comments if I misspelled anything. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I'm a world class misspeller. Michelle, you're not allowed to point out my misspellings because you enjoy doing that too much.

S in Seattle has a blog!

This is my friend S from Seattle; because she now has a blog she can now be know here as Sarahbeth. You probably remember reading about her and how she got into the Seahawks' playoff game, so now you can put her own voice to all the
shenanigans she gets herself into. Oh, and in case you can't tell, she's hot and lets me touch her boobs for beer (Will, got beer?).

I am so slammed at work that this may very well be the only post I'll do today, so I hope you enjoyed it. Make sure to check out Sarahbeth's blog and post lots of comments so she won't be like SOMEONE ELSE WE KNOW who will remain nameless and doesn't post that regularly.

Random thoughts from the Party Weekend from HELL:

The secret surprise we were planning on bringing to S in Seattle on Friday? Was it a man? No. Illegal drugs? No. Moonshine? No. Underage Philippians whores? No, better than all those put together. POPEYE's FRICKEN' FRIED CHICKEN! We were planning on stopping in Tacoma to pick some up and take to S's apartment for a booze infused food orgy, but the weatherman or Jesus had other plans. High winds caused a power outage for the shopping plaza that houses Popeye's, which caused the store to be closed on what would have been a very profitable night for them. I've been craving fried chicken ever since but luckily I have a Popeye's within drooling distance of the house.

All that partying and screaming of "fuckpants" this weekend has left me a little hoarse. I've got a sexy "whiskey and cigarettes" voice that the Monk has taken a liking to. Since the voice went away on Sunday and here it is Tuesday and it's still MIA, I'm assuming I will have a sexy voice from now on. Bonus.

Frankie showed S his weenie this weekend. We burst in the bathroom in an attempt to catch a glimpse while he showed but he screamed and hid it. He ended up dropping trou in a bar but I think I was too plastered to remember seeing it, but S does.

I miss S and Rusty since they moved north and I want them to move back. But on the other hand then I won't be going to Seattle anymore to visit them. Ah, the dilemmas!

Leigh is not allowed to wake us up at ungodly hours anymore. Take a Sominex.

I'm not sure who was happier to see me return from my weekend, the Monk or Rufus. Since neither humped my leg, I guess it's a draw.

Party weekends are fun. Wait, "party" with "weekend" is redundant. Sorry. The Roommate needs to go with next time. The Monk too.

I've been accepted.........

Both the Roommate and I had our artwork accepted into the 4x4 show. Yea! We are artists! The fact that the curator was 25 pices short of their goal of 100 submissions had nothing to do with ours being welcome with open arms. I'm almost sure of it. The Roommate was going to drop them off today and the show starts Thursday. Everyone (in town) needs to go to the opening this Last Thursday!

"Them Texas girls can party........."

Me, Jeffe, S, Leigh and Frankie

I somehow managed to survive the weekend in Seattle but only just barely. I managed to partially lose my voice, probably from yelling "Fuckpants" at strangers at the top of my lungs. Yep, stole that from Will and it was the "word of the weekend", usually used in combinations with other words, like "Shut the fuck up, Fuckpants!". Seattle will never be the same.

We started out the weekend at Peso's---Etip, Jayson, Heffe and Rusty joining S, Leigh, Frankie and I for cocktails Friday evening. It was boy's night and we managed to hijack Etip, Jayson, Rusty and Heffe for a bit but they were headed to the gay bar to pick up girls. Yeah, I don't understand that logic either, but I don't expect everyone to follow my messed up thinking. When Etip found out the chicks were going somewhere other than the gay bar, he jumped ship and joined us, so we ended up at Tini Biggs consuming she-she drinks and unsuccessfully attempting to order hummus. Much drinking ensued and before long we were described by Etip as "three drunk bitches". After that the dog was walked and the car was retrieved, but we don't really know who did what or in what order. S and Leigh spooned on the couch and I did what I do best, passed out.

Etip, Jayson, Rusty

The next morning Leigh woke us up at the ungodly hour of 8:30 because it was time to eat breakfast at the 5 Points. Rusty and Frankie finally met up with us and then Paul showed up eventually as well. We actually started in on the Bloody Marias/Marys at about 9:30 and were well on our way to Drunk-o-ville when I started the Fuckpants bullshit. Highly entertaining for our drunk-off-our-assess selves. We finally left just shy of being cut off/kicked out and wandered to S's apartment for a little regrouping. Which means more drinking. Then off to Pauls to listen to his many albums, and when I say many I mean THOUSANDS and when I say albums I mean "not CDs, either". Paul is a bit of a collector. Around the time of the first beer run we began making harassing calls to the Monk, who was stuck in Portland working. He had long engaging and meaningful conversations with Rusty, Sarah, who knows who else, and has never had the pleasure of meeting any of them yet. Everyone is now a fan of the Monk. Rusty, S and I then left as Rusty had to work and S and I had a party to go to or something. So we went to Pesos and drank until I was telling the guy next to me at the bar "You know you like me" and yelling Fuckpants at passing taxis. That was, oh, about 9:30, maybe earlier and I promptly passed out while S went back out to the bar to act like she was sober.

Texas girls (Leigh is honorary for the weekend)

The next morning S announced she would not be drinking at all. I was not so brave, in fact I needed a hair of the dog. Before long I had consumed all the hairs and S had a few as well. Frankie had left his jacket at a bar the night before so he and I were going to drop in and get it before we headed to pick up Leigh. Turns out you don't need 2 people to pick up a jacket, you need more like 5 or 7 so we all met up for a goodbye cocktail. Hmmm, no wonder I don't feel so good today.
Fun weekend! Muy muy Fun-o! Thanks S, Leigh, Aurora, Rusty, Paul, Etip, et al, but most of all, thank YOU, FUCKPANTS!. Muy fun-o.

She's got a ticket to ride, and she don't care.

If you're interested in the progress of the Rufus Project or just have a few minutes to burn or feel as though you are in dire need of a little moderate punishment, click here. If you are adept at counting you will notice that there are 13 pictures for the month of February. 13? Hmmmm. So far there have been 17 days this month. Does someone not possess math skills? Yes, but that's beside the point. Has someone been a bit of a slacker recently? Yep. Is it a challenge to get a decent shot of Rufus, especially if you're not using a flash? Yes, that fucker can't keep still and I easily deleted 20 unsuccessful shots yesterday evening. Am I growing tired of the subject matter? Hell yes, well, maybe only a little. I won't be posting this weekend as I won't be near a computer, unless they happen to have them in dive bars in Seattle. Hell, it's a progressive city, they very well just might.

So, yes, I am off this afternoon to visit S in Seattle. It's going to be frickin' cold up there but the skies will be clear and the sidewalks dry. I only brought a light jacket with me so I'm sure to "catch my death". Serves me right.

Leigh, Frank and I are going to be springing a surprise on S but I can't tell you now because she'll probably read this and then it wouldn't be much of a surprise, now would it?

Be scared for me. Leigh, Frank and S are all world class drinkers and I'm liable not to keep up. Hopefully I won't pee my pants. Hopefully I'll get to see Rusty, too!

Later.............be good while I'm gone, and bundle up!

One more thing........

.....if you aren't from around here and don't know Storm Large and the Balls, go here for a taste.

Look, there's a chicken................

Random thoughts:

I am a tard. I spent $24 dollars on bath soap today and it got me a whopping 2 bars. I think I will tattoo "sucker for soap" on my forehead so I am easily recognizable to overpriced-boutique sales people.

I'm going to Seattle this weekend with Leigh to visit S. Nuff said. I suspect the hang over will subside around Wednesday. No, make that Thursday.

I will miss the Monk, Rufus and the Roommate this weekend while I'm away. But then I will have a torrid love affair with wine or Jack Daniels or vodka (but most likely all three) and will forget any of them ever existed.

I am both amazed and appalled at the incompetence of most of my so called "peers". Scary. End of "Open Water" scary.

I love PF Chang's "Kung Pao Shrimp and Scallops" combo more than life itself.

I'm really grossed out by the chick who sits on the other side of my cube wall. If she's not performing her burp/hiccup combo she's talking about her hysterectomy or her dog "Putz". Or her bowling team "This Spud's for You"s shirts with their Mr Potato Head logo. And the shirts being sweaty. And her bowling in a tournament in Las Vegas in sweaty potato head shirts.

I think the Monk has a secret crush on Storm. I think I may as well.

And let me just add.....................

......................that the vice president is a dumbass. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11340558/

Happy Valentine's Day......will you be mine?

Well, it's Valentine's Day again, the most romantic day of the year, and for the first time in ages, I have a date other than the Roommate (who happens to be a WONDERFUL VD date, don't get me wrong) this time around! Ok, just wanted to throw that out there. But having been on the other side of the fence, if you don't have a special someone on VD, all the flowers, chocolates in red velvet boxes and crepe paper hearts serve as a rude reminder that you are alone, unloved and terribly pitiful. Just call yourself Charlie Brown for the rest of the day. But to alleviate the depression, here's a Roommate story that's sure to lift your spirits.

A while back, when the Roommate and I still worked together and shared a few accounts (his sales rep to my customer service rep) we were driving back to the office after a customer visit and he was checking voice messages. After he left a message for a customer he tossed his cell phone onto the dash board and stated that he had an odd dream the night before. He was at the Lesbian Olympics when he started having stomach cramps so he went to the infirmary where he was told to sit on a trash can. At that point he realized he was having an ass baby. Also at about that point in the story I heard a beep and looked at his phone. "I don't think you hung up" I said and a look of horror appeared on the Roommate's face. "I hope Joe's voice mail automatically timed out quickly" is all he said and then decided to not worry about it because at that point what can you do? The next day at work the Roommate was talking to Joe about an order when Joe stopped the conversation mid sentence and said "I've got to ask you...........ass baby?" so the roommate blew it off with "Yeah, ass baby" like it was the most natural thing to say, like people had ass babies all the time. We later learned that Joe had forwarded the voice message to everyone he worked with and that it eventually made it's way to some of our competitors as well. That one was a hard one to live down, but the Roommate weathered it and now it's a funny story he likes to tell often. I told the Monk the story the other day and he said "sounds like a blog", so here it is.

Enjoy your VD and have a happy ASS BABY everyone!

A new 'do for Rufus.

Isn't he the cutest thing ever. CUTEST. THING. EVER. The Boy trimmed the long scraggly hair off his ears and it makes him look like a puppy again. The Boy also trimmed the Rasta clumps of hair off his hind legs too, because they were just ugly. Rufus refused to allow me anywhere near him if I have scissors or nail clippers in my hand. He just doesn't trust.....well, me anyway. I have no idea how the Boy pulled it off but he did. Thanks!

4 x 4

I know you're dying to find out if the Roommate and I were able to complete our 4 x 4 paintings in time to submit them to the gallery by the deadline Friday. Well, I'm happy to announce we were! The Roommate has submitted "Francis Sleeping",

because I thought it looked like Sir Francis Bacon's work. Because I am a pig I submitted 2 paintings, the first one called "Zopa" which is a monk word for "patience"

and also a photo transfer of Rufus with an "R" superimposed over it.

Unfortunately there was a rule I ignored that stated only one piece per artist, so I had to choose between my two "babies" so Rufus is out of the show. Sorry Booboo.

Rufus, the Monk and I went on an afternoon hike Friday, which was exciting because a) I wasn’t at work and b) I had to actually do something with the Monk that required more from me than looking pretty, making funny quips or drinking wine. I had never been to Silver Falls, or even knew about them despite living in Oregon for almost 8 years, but the Monk, after a mere month after relocating from Taos, NM, had already heard about them and organized an outing there for us. Since the canyon trails are off limits to dogs Rufus got to spend quality time in the Jeep (which beats the hell out of hanging out in his kennel for hours on end) after we enjoyed our picnic lunch (see fig. 1) in the rare February sunshine.

Fig. 1

The Monk and I got to witness 7 fabulous and breath-taking waterfalls, much like this one (picture b, below).

Picture b

We took 2 separate trails, the first having two impressive waterfalls, the second with 5, one of which was a double waterfall (only I foolishly failed to capture the moment digitally). Both trails consisted of a nice hike down the canyon, a stroll from one waterfall to the next, and then a hellatious hike back up the canyon. Since it was sunny and I was exerting energy, I had managed to work up a sweat and decided to remove some layers of clothing, the first to go a faux fur-lined vest (such the stylist hiker am I, going lovely with my black Ugg boots). When one less layer failed to relieve the extreme heat I was suffering from, I then decided to remove my black fleece pull over (with the cutest black satin patches on the elbows). Now you’d think someone grown up and responsible could remove a fleece pullover without incident. You’d think so, yes, but like most things I do, I have proven you wrong again. As I pulled the fleece over my head I managed to get the zipper pull (yep, a functional zipper at the high collared neck) stuck in my nose as I flung the fleece off my head. Thank god the Silver Falls website kindly suggested hikers bring their own toilet paper, because I gave myself a nasty nose bleed * when I dislodged the zipper pull from my left nostril. Man it hurt like I had done too much really bad coke (not that I’ve done that, I’ve just heard stories, you know, people talk…….) and had to stuff a wad of toilet paper into my nose to stop the blood flow. Nice work, McGiver.

* (please note blood on toilet paper)

The remainder of the hike went without incident, thank god. I’d have hated for the Monk to have had to chop off a tree limb to splint a broken leg or something. Ah nature! You gotta love it.

One more thing..........

Another thing I realized:

I know way too much about telecom for someone who professes to be dumb. At the Super Bowl party we of course watched the commercials. They kept showing really funny commercials for a company called "Go Daddy". Finally a discussion started pertaining to what the fuck "go daddy" was, port? What? I piped in "You go to GoDaddy to buy domain names" * and everyone went Ahhhhh. So I realized I'm smart.

*But not that smart, having been drinking I actually stuttered "That's where you go to get those URL thingies". URL thingie happens to be a telecom term, smarty pants. Look it up in Newton's Telecom Dictionary if you don't believe me (actually don't bother, just take my word for it).

Scary is as scary does

Recent realizations:

• 
  Everything I own is either covered in white dog hair and/or mysteriously decorated with dog bite or claw marks, including my Jeep.
• 
  Our president thinks we are even dumber than he previously thought we were. I'm throwing one big yellow "bullshit" flag on his "Asian terrorists crashing a plane into a building that doesn't exist" announcement. How did illegal wire taps prevent this event at the very moment the shoe-bomb wearing thugs were at the cockpit door? How does that work again? Please, get better writers; Arrested Development was cancelled, talented writers are out of work and available for immediate employment.
• 
  My hair looks cuter shoulder length than it did "all Marcia Brady" and half way down my back. And it makes me look younger, but not as young as a teenage Marcia Brady.
• 
  Morning sex is actually fucking fantastic with the right person. Wake me up anytime (you know who you are).
• Aimee Mann wrote "She Really Loves You" (from "The Forgotten Arm" album) about Fresh Pepper. Consider the evidence in the first verse and chorus:
  Sitting in your father's basement, waiting for the phone to ring
  Still in your pajamas, Baby
  Made up some excuse to see you, said you didn't feel a thing
  Tired of all the drama, Baby
  But still the moment you hear, the moment you know, you know you'll come running baby
  Still the moment you hear, that she really loves you.
  See what I mean?
  
• 
  I want it to be summer already.
• 
  I was thinking about this whole "idiot company buying our company" business and about the conversion and moving to a new building in a different city. I want no part of it. I want the severance pay, I'm officially cashing in.
• 
  I'm not as much of an artist as I thought I was after doing two 4" x 4" paintings. Maybe I just don't deal with really scary deadlines. Yeah, that's probably the problem. I am an artist, just don't like the pressure.
• 
  I scare myself sometimes. And not in a good way.

What's the buzz?

Oh, yeah, it almost slipped my mind, the company I've worked for for the last 7 and a half years was just bought by a competitor, and a lack luster one at that. A customer asked me today if there would be any noticible changes and I told him I wasn't instructed to start giving shitty service yet, so no reason to panic at the moment. Am I worried about getting laid off? Hell no, I'm worried I won't get laid off! I'll be eligible for 24---yes, as in two dozen---weeks severance pay! Fuck, that's almost a half a year! Plus I'd get paid out for my vacation earned so far this year and the carry over vacation from '05. And I'd be eligible for unemployment!

Hope losing my job doesn't push me into a higher tax bracket.

Who's afraid of 4 inches?

So, you know I'm an artist, right? No, seriously, I am. Stop laughing, that's rude, I majored in Fine Arts at LSU and also got an associate degree in Graphic Design. No, I'm not kidding. Before this crap job I was the creative director for a display and design company and of course the natural career progression from there is right into telecom, so that's proof right there. But really, a visual artist. Plus the Roommate thinks of me as an artist, so there. I even create "art" still (finishing up another triptych) so of course I was intrigued by the "4 x 4 show". This is a juried show (taking up to 100 pieces) and the artwork can be no larger than four inches by four inches. The bad news is the artwork has to be turned in to the gallery by this Friday. The good news is it's only 4 frickin inches, so how long could that take? The painting shown here is one of mine but luckily I'm a bad photographer so you can't tell how bad of an artist I am.

I think I'll wait till Thursday night to start working on it. Believe me, I've done 4 inches before and it's nothing to be scared of.

My friend "S" in Seattle called yesterday morning and barked into the phone "I'm so excited I'm going to PEE my pants". She's a big Seahawks fan. I called her again after Seattle scored and the noise level at the party she was at was incredible. I couldn't hear a word she said. Needless to say, she's hurting today, but she did have a "dry night". She's such a big girl!

My friend "R" (identity protected, you will understand why) had a Super Bowl party at his house even though he was scheduled to work noon to ten pm. When he returned home shortly after leaving for work his fianceeée asked if he was OK. "My eyes, I can't see" he said. When she questioned the exact problem with his eyes he replied "I can't see.......myself working today". No fun in having a party if you can't even be there.

My friend Dana just had a baby 2 weeks ago and brought her little bundle of joy to the party. She told us how her baby is too small for premie diapers and when she woke up this morning the baby's shit had escaped the gaping leg holes in the diaper and onto the bed. I asked "Aren't you supposed to rub their noses in it?" and she announced "It's official, Suz will never baby-sit for me". Score! I'm not that into kids....or pooh.

The Monk learned a little more about American Football (very much different than Australian Rules Football). He also learned there are more strip clubs per capita in Portland than anywhere in the US. Somehow that slipped my mind. He's liking Portland more and more---hell, the sun's even out today.

You're probably wondering about the photo above, since it has absolutely nothing to do with today's post. It just appeared on my camera some time back and I decided to post it here because I was too lazy to take any Super Bowl Party photos. Holding a camera got in the way of drinking my Mike's Hard Lemonaded and screaming at the TV screen. Certainly some questionable calls.

More about PaD

I've always known that my photo a day site is pretty much a joke to the "real" photogragphers associated with pBase, but thinking about it just now I realized that I only ever post a good shot about once a month, average, and never a "great" shot like this guy , who does it on a regular basis, goddamn him. So I decided I should start calling my post "a shot in the dark that there'll be one god one this month" but that's a mouthful. I may be in telecom but that's one long acronym, even for my industry.

So, more about this guy.

We actually went to high school together, I was friends with his older sister at the time. Then we built our own friendship in college, which turned into a deeper friendship after my first divorce. We have remained close friends and confidantes since, and I am in awe of his photographic talent and his overall great outlook on life despite the crap life has handed him. He'll probably make me remove this post but I'm not computer savy, so I guess it stays. So check out his work. I am his biggest fan.

A month of Rufus

You may or may not know, gentle reader, that I belong to a global group of photographers who post a photo a day on a certain web site . Well I stupidly decided to only post pictures of Rufus this month as a kind or assignment, probably because just posting a photo a day isn't hard enough, I had to go and make it specific. So on the first day I posted this and then yesterday this and then today, this. Now after only 3 days into the month I have realized this was a boring and extremely stupid idea, an exercise that is sure to get me kicked off of PaD despite having paid my yearly dues in advance. So I think I'll have to get a little more creative, since that is the reason for the exercise in the first place, and take photos with Rufus in there lurking around in the background somewhere. I can also take shots of things Rufus does. Like this:

I'm sure you can figure out that the Roommate wasn't too happy with this masterpiece.

Keep posted by clicking here.

Memories..........

I spoke to the birtday girl a little while ago and she reminded me we were taking a "girl's weekend" trip to Seattle the weekend of the 18th and did and asked if we want to take the train? She also reminded me what happened the last time we took the train together. We were sitting in the bar car, talking to an older gentleman and getting drunk, when he told us about his son in the Army in Iraq. We felt compelled to do our civic duty and support the troops so we lifted our shirts and he took a photo of our tits on his phone and sent it to him. We're all about helping our boys overseas. We are going to try to not be so civic minded this trip.