I know I've made a it bleeding obvious that my lovely mutt Rufus is a royal pain it the ass, known to devour cell phones and keep me awake despite a hang over, but sometimes* he's the sweetest thing in the world. He knows he gets quality "mommy" time when I pull out the tripod and camera to capture my photo a day shot, so he always poses (usually with crossed legs) and sits very still for his portrait. I don't use a flash as that makes his eyes demon-like and I lose that "monkey-eye" quality he has in real life. So, knowing that he has to sit very still for his portraits, you'd think I'd take them CONSTANTLY just to keep him out of trouble, but I don't (although a few of you out there insist my PaD consists only of Rufus portraits; there's also photos of the Roommate, so there).

This is his latest portrait, taken this very morning lit gently by the morning sun. I like the natural light, you see. When it's portrait time he sits up, holds his head high, crosses those long ass legs of his and looks off into the distance, giving a thoughtful pose. For a dog with no patience, he's got a lot of patience.

* Sometimes means very seldom, and only for a few minutes at a time.

*********************

Jodi wanted the photo of the Roommate showing his junk, but it's been deleted so instead she can go here to see the "dreamily sexy" photo of the Roommate. I like this shot and make sure you read the comment because someone in New Orleans really liked the shot. The Roommate also is a good poser and an excellent photo subject.

****************************

Tomorrow is the FABULOUS RED DRESS PARTY and the Roommate was able to talk a couple friends to don a dress and join the fun. In fact Rusty is driving all the way from Seattle just to wear a dress. We told him last night we had a dress for him but then the Roommate tried it on and I couldn't get the zipper up, in fact at the top of the zipper there were 4 inches between the sets of teeth. The Roommate kept saying "Force it, just force it up!" but the only way to accomplish that would be to remove the low half section of his ribs. So I ran over to Ross and purchased a red dress just for Rusty (in fact it's a rusty red color) and I'm sure it will fit and look lovely. The secret to fitting a man in a red dress is avoid sleeves at all cost, spaghetti straps are best.

Yeah, but can you fall down in it?

Last night was "try on red dresses" night at the ol' homestead. Since I got two completely different style dresses I wanted the Roommate's opinion on which I should wear. The first number is strapless (the straps in the photo are the ones the manufacturer sews in to keep it on a hanger), is really dark red and a little on the "bride's maid/Jr prom" side.

It's got the netting inside so it poofs out a bit. The Roommate like it and mentioned I could probably wear it for other occasions, should I ever be in a wedding where the bridesmaids wore the same dress (unlikely!) but I pointed out the "tits popping out" possibility and he agreed that it was a risk with this particular dress. At that point it was deemed a "stand by".

The second dress I purchased is stretchy and has pink sparkles all over it in spite of the "no glitter" edict the Roommate laid down this year. In the past 3 years the Roommate wore the same short red dress with glitter all over it and every year we were cleaning up red glitter for 6 months after the event. Back to MY dress.........this baby has the added comfort and piece of mind that I shall call "shoulder straps" which is the biggest plus of this baby and a trait not available on the "stand by" model. It's clingy and sexy, a little on the short side since I am an Amazon but after trying it on the Roommate agreed that we had a winner.

Extra bonus is a V-neck to show off a little cleavage. The Roommate also suggested that I not wear a black thong under this dress for obvious reasons, I suspect he could in fact see I had one on. That's ok, I got a peach colored one that will work just fine.

The Roommate tried on his borrowed dress and if I could only describe it in one word I would be torn between choosing tight or short. I took a couple of photos of him in it* just to show him and he came to the same conclusion. He runs the same "pop-out" risk since he said his "privates" would most likely make an appearance if he even slightly bent over in this number at the party. Second drawback is that it is also covered in glitter, and I think one glittery dress is all our house can tolerate. He tried on the one I got him and in spite of the tea-length longness of it's skirt, it's the one he's wearing. Fits like a glove, as though it was made for him and if he wants to go mini I can always hem it shorter.

Oh, and if you are wondering when you get to see the photos of the Roommate in the "show us your junk" dress, well don't hold your breath. I deleted those (yes, BOTH of them) as I'm sure to be mysteriously killed in my sleep should I post such a scandalous photo.

Ah, it will be a magical night! And I will be sure to take lots of pictures..........I smell a photo essay!

24 Hour Fitness opened a new sports center kinda in our neighborhood, which is a good thing because it means they are closing the dark, broken down old 24 Hour Fitness that smelled of bad breath. Aside from the all-brand-new equipment, nice lighting and big windows and a noticeable lack of halitosis, the bestest part is that they have conveniently scheduled pilates classes on Tuesday evenings. Yea! I haven't found a pilates class around here that had a good time since they moved our office from Downtown Portland to suburban Vantuckey over 2 years ago, so the words "core" and "strength" do not exactly go together in my immediate vicinity. All that was going to change starting tonight until it all came to a screeching halt since the Roommate contracted the plague. He's my exercise class buddy because I don't like to go to exercise classes by myself and he was the only person in the world who could have talked me into the Nazi Death Camp class at our old gym. I like having someone there I know, who can give me encouragement and motivation but most of all-----someone I can make fun of everyone else with, because let's face it, if you can't make fun of classmates, what good are they? So I was thinking of putting off the pilates class until the Roommate has the strength to fall out of his death bead but I'm sure I could really use the "core strength" in my tight red dress this weekend. Plus the more time I hang around the germ infested house the more likely it is I'll catch the plague, and I think I've already been plenty sick this winter.
See, going to the gym IS healthy! I wonder if I can rent a room there?

Bet'cha I still blow off the gym tonight, though.

Cirque

A group of us got together, oh, back in October '05, and ordered tickets to last weekend's Cirque Du Soleil. If you haven't been, just imagine two hours of this:

Actually it isn't that blurry until after you hit the wine bar at intermission. And of course, being the deviant I am, I had to smuggle in my camera and take a photo for my blog. But because I didn't want to blind the "catcher" in the trapesee act causing him to drop his partner, I didn't use a flash and ended up with a Bosch's "Garden Of Earthly Delights" shot. "Varekai" was by far the best traveling Cirque show yet and if it's coming to your city you should definitely drop the $80 or so and check it out.

********************

This Saturday is the long awaited Red Dess Party and I brought home one dress for the Roommate (a backup in case his loaner doesn't fit, and I don't think it's going to) and 2 for me. I asked the Roommate which I should wear and he ask me "Which is easier to fall down in?". Keeping this in mind I decided to take the "skinny" dress and return the ballroom gown looking one, since it's strapless. When I fall down in that one my tits are sure to pop out. I DO NOT need to be laughed at by drag queens in that condition this year.

**************************

The Roommate is sick. Nasty cold from HELL! If I catch it and am sick this weekend I am going to be MAD as a hornet!

On that note, hope you feel better soon, Roommate!

Inside Man---in English this time

So, it appears that the post that the Roommate and I composed last night is kind of disjointed a little. Kinda. Last night (or rather this morning, check the time stamp) we were laughing our asses off thinking this was the MOST clever post ever posted in the history of posts! We read and re-read it to each other and congratulated ourselves on our wit. We laughed till tears streamed down our faces. And yes, our minds were a little clouded by Cosmos topped with beer and/or wine. And vodka. So maybe you all should get a little plastered and try reading it from our point of view. Go ahead, I'll wait.

In case I need to clarify, we actually DID see the movie and it was GREAT. I's loves me some Clive Owen, and the plot was excellent as well. But seriously, go see it and then come back here and read the post again and see if you understand our late-nite tirade a little better. It actually does kind of make sense. Maybe.

Not sure. Just saying.

Inside Man

The Roommate, Boytek and I thought about seeing "Inside Man" today and after HOURS of careful consideration we FIGURED OUT THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLOT without actually seeing the movie. Watch out for the poodle.........just kidding. If you're planning on seeing it, LOG OUT NOW!

Spike Lee has finally found a great entertaining plot (and it's about fucking time). More clever than the average person would think---ok, average-not-drunk person. Guess what, if you really.........and I mean REALLY THINK ABOUT IT AND TALK ABOUT IT..............it's Jodie Foster, that bitch. She masterminded the WHOLE FUCKING THING. If you don't believe me think about watching it twice.

---Inside guy is the OUTSIDE GUY---Denzel
---Bank manager (I hear his name is Peter Hammond)---IN IT (duh) !
---Big tittied chick talking on the fucking cell phone---IN IT!
---Rabbi (Clive's dad?)---IN IT
---Kid with annoying game---IN IT!
---Old reluctant woman---IN IT!
----Towel-head---NOT IN IT!
---Ok, No more teasing. I am going to break it down now. Everyone interviewed is IN IT.

I would love to see a movie where no one dies (they fake it, I've heard).

Enjoy the movie, I'd love to know how it ends.

Oh, and by the way they are digging for Clive's need to drink and pooh for the two weeks that he is hiding behind the fake wall with the diamonds. Maybe.

Not sure. Just saying. Haven't seen it.

I'm not the only photographer in the house

No, silly, Rufus is not a photographer! The Roommate has a great eye for composition as well and I just happen to have a few examples of his work.

The Roommate took this shot facing straight up the side of our friend's building in LA, just across the street from McArthur's Park. I really like the perspective and repetitive pattern.

You're probably thinking this isn't that outstanding a shot, but the circumstances are are quite interesting and hello, these dogs bark in Czech! This photo was taken on our trip to the ghetto outside of Prague; we were looking at the old abandoned warehouse behind this fence and were just about to climb the fence to check it out when these cute little puppies charged out of no where and changed our minds. I didn't think to capture this vacation moment on film, but the Roommate did. Not your typical holiday snapshot. (I know I keep threatening to tell the story about the time we took an unguided day trip to Prague's ghetto, but one day I will.)

I love the composition of this shot and it's just an excellent example of what comes to mind when you're thinking about homes in the Hollywood Hills. So very "California". Great curved lines and wonderful color.

I call this one "Bad Dog", and you really don't know which of us is being punished, do you?

Continuing with our "vacations with ghetto visits" theme, the Roommate took this one on the bus in Cancun. Yes, they too have a ghetto, and a Walmart*!

This is one of those hold-the-camera-out-in-front-of-you-and-snap-a-self-portrait shots. Pretty good framing if you ask me.

I have one more shot to add but Blogger thinks I've been piggie enough already and won't let me upload another, so I'll repost.

* I hate Walmart but everyone in Cancun was all a-buzz about it.

I'm A Great Photographer (or Anyone Can Snap A Good Shot Every Once In A While) numero dos

This is installment #2 of my photo essay proclaiming my creative and technical superiority as a photographer (almost spewed tea through my nose as I wrote that one).

I like this photo because of the balanced composition and sharpness/clarity of the shot in spite of not using a flash. Small victories, people, it's all about small victories.

I love this shot because I love Hunter S. Thompson (and the Roommate, too).

I think this photo should hang in a gallery somewhere because of the subject matter (duh!) and the perspective. And because you know sooooo well that Rufus is stalking that doggie in the background.

I like this photo because a) I was drunk when I took it and didn't remember taking it at all, not even when I saw it on my camera the next day and b) because it tells a story.........about a lonely Santa bribing an innocent elf with a glass of grog. Hey, I didn't say it was a pretty story.

I think this photo of a very simple flower arrangement works well because of the color and the cropping. You can take a shit photo and do it worlds of good with a little snipping here and there. Kinda worked for Cher, in a plastic surgery kinda way.

This one works because it's just so silly and dear ol' Rufus puts his heart into posing for me. He's such a ham.

Ok, that's all for this installment, but fear not, there's plenty more where these came from!

Rufus, thinking*

My new favorite photo of Rufus; thought I'd share.

* Probably trying to figure out a new way into my pantie drawer....and no, that's not a euphemism.

Sarahbeth is upset because she thinks these photos (one of which I am deleting) are unattractive. If she wants unattractive, she need to check this shit out.

Hee hee hee hee, made you look again!

Or how about this photo; this is the photo that I was told not to post when Michelle got her teeth knocked out by a mule. She's gonna kill me when she sees this but she has to suffer to prove a point.

The point being that THIS ^ is unattractive and THIS is not. Just ask Zen Wizard, he wouldn't lie.

And I soooooooo made you look at the Binford again, didn't I?

Girl's Night Out

Sarahbeth and Aurora came all the way down from Seattle to do St Paddy's with the gang which segued* into Nekked Hot Tub which segued* to Dance Party USA (but by that time I had already gracefully passed out, so I'm only reporting that part second hand. DO NOT SUE ME IF ANY OF THAT IS INCORRECT). That was Friday night. Saturday night we met some friends at the Space Room (re: smoke 'em if you got 'em---or even if you don't just breath the air) for a bit and then we headed to Chameleon to crash a bachelorette* party that our friend Kristie* was attending. So at the Chameleon there was dancing and karaoke*........

And then more Nekked hot tubbing (tastefully cropped photo, than you very much).

*Photo deleted*

And then on Sunday there was hangover from hell---because it was "doubled down" by a nasty stomach virus/flu/curse from the devil. Still managed to post three times today, though (that's for you Shawna) and I came home early SICK from work. And my dog bit me, too (but no surprises there).
So "girl's weekend out" was a total success. Next weekend is Cirque* du Soliel*, so god only knows what germs I'll pick up there.

*Blogspot spell check has no idea what to do with these words, so if they are in fact misspelled, at least I tried.

Erin Go Barf

So I get what people mean when they say New Year's Eve and St Patrick's Day are "amateur nights"; the Roommate and I arrived just after 6:00 at one of the big block parties thrown this past Friday night and everyone else was drunk right off their asses. At 6:00, and this particular party didn't have an open bar. One chick in our party dropped 4 cocktails that I counted, another had a drink poured down her back by a guy trying to navigate the shoulder to shoulder crowd. And let me tell you, the only thing worse than being the only person not drunk out of many several hundred drunkards is being that same non-drunk person desperately trying to get their first drink and not being able to get a cocktail waitresse's attention. I tell you, that is hell on earth. And have you ever noticed people's outfits on St Paddy's Day? Ugly clothes that went out of style decades earlier and usually horribly faded, and you just know these cloth relics are saved for this one day of the year---BECAUSE THEY ARE GREEN. Imagine that you're an article of clothing, well past your prime and no longer looking "fresh" and unless you are, by the grace of god, say GREEN (or have a teddybear in a Santa hat embroidered on the front) you are doomed to become a car wash rag the second your wide lapels or ruffled skirt is a little past it's "in style" date. The Roommate was smart, he had on a button down Oxford (from Fennigan's Wake in NY) with a long sleeved T under it, with a short sleeved tee under that, just in case he got spilled or puked on (or both) he could strip away the soiled shirt and not have to walk around nekked all evening.

And there ain't NOTHIN' amateur about that.

I had a great weekend, and have the stomach flu to prove it.

Just wanted to post something really quick-like as I'm trying to get the hell out of the office. Although I had a fun fun weekend, I feel like hell (haven't be able to eat anything because of severe abdominal pains---but do you think that's going to keep me from going to dinner with my friend Pat and the Roommate? HELL NO!) and just want to go home and lay down for a bit. I'll post pictures and a brief run down later, but right now I'm just trying to take care of some business and get the fuck out of Dodge.

And no, Sarahbeth and Aurora, I'm not posting THOSE pictures.

Random thoughts

Yesterday Rufus refused to go outside to go "potty", and I tried several times, but he's a stubborn one. Finally I took a bunch of dried food and mixed in some canned dog food so it was nice and good smelling. He scarfed it all down in seconds flat. About 10 minutes later he was jumping at the door, really wanting to go outside bad. I let him out and he made a BIG BOOMBOOM! I'm so clever---I will not be mocked!

Yesterday after the Roommate and I went to the gym I stopped at the grocery store and got some wine, some sausages and a loaf of bread (three of the 4 basic food groups, I might add). When he got home he said "YOU BOUGHT BREAD? CARBS, HELLO!" and I told him I had heard a radical new theory about eating bread---that you actually didn't have to eat the WHOLE LOAF at one sitting. He didn't think it was funny but I did.

The Roommate and I also did a "dipping bread" taste test last night. Expensive olive oil and balsamic vinegar is noticeably better than their averaged-price counterparts. Unfortunately I have an "averaged-priced" budget. Fortunately the Roommate does not.

Too much green beer makes Erin go barf.

We're having friends in from out of town this weekend. In total 6 adult humans will be crashing at our house, as opposed to the normal 2. We only have one bathroom, which is ok with two people. It's going to make showering, as well as "taking care of personal business", somewhat of a challenge. Factor out that there will be much drinking of alcoholic beverages, thus there will be lots of trips to the facilities. "Get in line, bub!" is the order of the day.

If I don't talk to you this weekend, enjoy your Green Beer Holiday!

I'm A Great Photographer (or Anyone Can Snap A Good Shot Every Once In A While)

It's been a kind of unsettling week, a little personal upheaval, but nothing I can't handle. So I think I'll distract myself with a little photo essay showing what a great photographer I am. The title being (see above).

This one was taken at the beach at Tulum. I really don't get points for this shot since I seriously think it's impossible to get a bad picture from this view.

This one was taken in LA at the Standard, poolside. Very glamorous Rusty, and was used in a painting I did for him.

I love this shot although I think PETA would have issues.

This isn't a great shot but it certainly tells a story. This one was taken on a day trip to Tijuana; can you see why we ended up buying 2 velvet Elvises?

This shot was taken in Prague. The Roommate and I did a 36 hour bender tour of the ghetto that day and this hand truck was in a stable in one of the courtyards we stumbled into. It worked well in B&W. The 36 hour bender is a photo essay for another day, but I do like this shot.

This shot is from the winter of '04. We had gotten 6 inches of snow and then 2 inches of ice on top of it. This shot is of a walkway, the ice had been broken by walking on it and then more ice formed on top. I like this one, too.

Ok, kids, that's all for today.

Instant message conversation

This is a crappy photo stolen off the internet.





Her: going to red coach for lunch

Her: I know you didn't like burgers

Her: but mmmmm

Me: How are the fries there?

Her: pretty good

Her: I am going to be BFF* now

Me: Rolly polly

Her: but I haven't eaten anything yet

Me: I just scarfed down some granola. Last night I made some cheese toast (with really nice crusty bread and parmesan cheese) in the oven and the Roommate and I ate the whole fucking loaf. Then we ate cookies and finished off a bottle of wine. I LOVE THIS DIET!

Her: nice

Her: what kind of cookies

Me: Girl Scouts.

Me: Peanut butter and those thin mints.

Her: the best kinds

Me: Yep

Me: I love bread.

Her: yeah especially with CHEESE

Me: Yup

Me: We also dipped the bread in oil and balsamic vinegar.

Me: The funny part is I had planned to heat up some of that baked ziti I made on Sunday for dinner last night (after my second visit of the day to the gym) but the Roommate didn't want all the carbs. So we ate bread and cookies instead.

Me: And anything else that wasn't nailed down, come to think of it.

Me: There was some other kind of cheese, too.

Her: lol

Me: So today my lunch will be carrots and celery. Doing my penance today for the sins of last night.

Me: The "morning after" diet.

Her: haha

Her: going to lunch

Her: bb

Me: At 10:50?

Me: Jesus


* Big Fat Fatty

Exit, stage left..........

This is my friend Rob (with the Roommate) this past Xmas. Today he resigned from his job here at the company I work for. He forwarded his resignation letter to EVERYONE. Please enjoy.

Greetings fellow colleges, peers, friends, and Dilbert supervisors,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Gary, Sereda, managers like you (and several others at ELI) are sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without all of you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation effective today. However I have a few parting thoughts.

I think you've forgotten how good the people that make up this department are. That or you just don't care. The managers of this department never cease to amaze me. When you manage a department that is open 365 days a year, you might want to give them some incentive to come together as a team. Modifying an employee's time card is not an incentive. Moving hours that an NCAM tech worked on Christmas day to a day that ELI does not recognize as a holiday, to save a few bucks, isn't a "clerical error" it's illegal. Telling an NCAM tech that he doesn't qualify for bereavement pay, because the funeral for the family member that just died is on their day off-Sereda, that's low. You had an employee that worked 32 hours straight during the ice storm. Instead of thanking him for being their when you needed him, you told him he didn't qualify for adverse weather pay because he wasn't scheduled to be at work. And the list goes on and on, but let me save you some time. I thought I wanted a career with ELI, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

The problem I've had with this company had little to do with the job, or my peers, and more to do with ELI's hiring practices of their managers. Apparently when they hired them they were willing to accept any illiterate, knuckle dragger with a fetish for dirty sheets, who could scratch an "X" on the bottom of an employment application. If I truly thought it would have made a difference in your performance as a manager I would have expressed my grievances with you in a monthly meeting. Don't worry idiots! I would have laid it out clearly and in simple language, using colored blocks and flash cards if necessary.

To all my peers, thank you for all the support, guidance, and encouragement you have provided me over these years. Without you I would have never made it. I'll miss you all, and remember change is good. I wish all my friends the best in the roads they choose to walk, and wherever their careers take them. Good luck with the merger with Integra.

And finally, to all my friends, please do me one huge favor, if you ever see me thinking about coming back to this horribly humiliating, non-paying, shit-whore gig, please come over to my house and crush my testicles with a sharpened pair of soccer cleats. It would be far less painful to be testicularly imbalanced, than having to work under these monkeys again.

With a middle finger permanently extended

~Rob

When I quit I'm going to ask his professional opinion on my exit strategy.

Last night was the premier episode of the final season's of HBO's "The Sopranos", and if that episode was any indication of what we're in for this year, it's going to be one hell of a wild ride! If you haven't seen it yet and are intending to, LEAVE RIGHT NOW because I'm going to ruin it for you if you read on. So go ahead and read someone else's blog. Go ahead, git.

Now I was still preparing a wonderful baked ziti (from the Soprano Family cookbook, thank you very much) for the Roommate and I so I missed the majority of the opening montage, you know, the film clips presentation that gives you a hint at what happened in the last two years or so since the series was last on; the writers let the family and "family" continue on with their lives even though we weren't there watching. I'm going to have to go back and revisit that opening again. Hello? Janice had a kid? Not exactly mother material there if you ask me, but what the heck. And the scene with Camellia and Adriana grabbed my attention, isn't that bitch dead (meaning: her career because of the stint on Joey)???? It was interesting how the writers reacquainted us with these characters we haven't seen in a fucking LONG ASS time, which consisted of a lot of characters asking other characters "You lose weight?" and the like. And that scene where the mobster off's himself in garage (which the Roommate so totally pegged just moments before) was a tad long and gruesome (and the pissing himself at the end? Could have done without that but I guess it was kind of a nice touch in hind sight). Poor Uncle Junior has completely lost his marbles---Tony needs to watch out for the early warning signs of dementia since he's evidently gonna get the crazy gene from BOTH sides of the family (remember Olivia was a nut case just before she kicked it). Another thing Tony needs to watch out for is a bullet to the gut, but that's a whole different worry. And Johnny Sack's wife----can she gain any more weight? The Roommate thinks it's a fat suit, because seriously, how can someone get that big?

So, I'm extremely excited about the other 11 episodes coming up immediately and the final 8 early next year (I heard on NPR that there will be a break in between, just to drag it out I guess). Now if we could only get Six Feet Under back, I'd be a happy camper.

Oh, and Big Love looks promising. I missed the first 20 minutes because I forgot it was going to be on, but I'm going to go back and rewatch that one too. If you haven't already, check it out.

Weather update

Blizzard 2006! These are actual photos of our snowstorm yesterday! It's a virtual white out! It lasted less than an hour on the ground and the up to 4" predicted to fall overnight amounted to zip, zero, zilch, nada. No snow day today.

Woahhh.....

Maybe I should take that back. It's starting to stick to the sidewalk and parking lot.

Whoopeeeee! Maybe it'll be a SNOW DAY! I'LL GET OUT OF CUSTOMER AWARENESS TRAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! snownsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow

FYI for the snow day minded....

Keep these tips in mind for your own safety when it's snowing and it's a work day:

Just because the snow is sticking to the bark dust in the landscaping doesn't mean we get to shut down home early. It actually has to stick on roads and bridges and cause hazardous driving conditions.

Just because it's snowing doesn't give you free reign to singing Christmas carols out loud. Christmas was actually months ago and we had to put up with your screeching then out of politeness. It's just plain not acceptable in March.

No need to make plans for your snow day tomorrow considering the weather man says it's not going to get down to freezing tonight. It's just not gonna happen, kids, no matter how much you want it.

I don't care if you live 25 miles away and have rear wheel drive----HELLO, it's NOT sticking. In fact it's melting as soon as it hits the ground; your only hazard for your drive home is YOU.

Stop telling me it's snowing. I have a window cube, see. Window right behind me. Thanks, now get back to work.

Weather update!

Hey ya'll, it's snowing! I don't have the cable to download photos here at work so here's a photo from when it snowed in December, just so you get the idea about the nature of Blizzard 2006!

Where the hell am I?

Ok, sorry I didn't post, I'm not being lazy. I've been sick again; that same cold came back after an over indulgent weekend, either that or it's evil twin brother came for a visit, I'm not sure which. What I am sure of is I've been sick and spent the last oh, 48 hours or so, either sleeping or vegging on the couch watching movies that I've already seen for the second or third time. I really like The Upside of Anger.....again.

And the dog has been driving me crazy the whole time, barking, bouncing off walls and eating mail. At our house being sick isn't good enough, you have to be tortured by a 25 lb terrier mix as well. When the Roommate called yesterday I told him and he suggested I take the mutt to the doggie park; good suggestion, but I kind of felt like shit. He said better to feel like shit for 20 minutes at the dog park and get a reprieve for 2 hours than to just feel like shit and put up with it all day. I couldn't muster the strength, so I suffered.

Now I'm at work feeling like pooh because that's how I am. The guilt gets to me so I drag myself to work. I bargained with myself all day yesterday---I feel ok now, so maybe I should go in to work......after I have a 3 hour nap because I'm not feeling so well again----and still managed not to come in at all yesterday. Too bad I didn't give in to a nap again this morning. Is it wrong to put my head on my desk and snooze a few hours? I could really use it.

My eyes hurt.

Not a lot happening in Portland

Because I am a shameless thief, I’m stealing Will’s blog again, only problem is I live in Portland, OR, and some of these have very limited answers.

Four Portland Things:

Four Jobs I’ve Had In in Portland:
Customer Service for a telecom company (only job I’ve had here)

Four Movies About Portland I Could Watch Over And Over (there aren't a whole lot):
Elephant (it was even filmed in my neighborhood!)
Bandits
Drugstore Cowboy
You, Me And Everyone We Know (filmed in LA but is supposed to be Portland)

Four Places I’ve Lived All Over Portland:
Roommate’s house, the ex’s house. Sarahbeth could fill this up, though.

Four Portland-Themed Shows I Love To Watch:
There are no shows about Portland, unless you count the nightly news

Four Places I Would Vacation At In Portland:
Chameleon restaurant
My hot tub
Doggie park (with Rufus)---see photo above
Kennedy School

Four Portland-Based Websites I Visit Daily:
My credit union site.
My blog, since it's the only Portland based blog I know about.
The Weather Channel site (in the summer I check it every day for rain, since the Jeep top is off all summer)
My work web site

Four Of My Favorite Foods Found In Portland:
Fried chicken at Bernie’s
Lettuce wraps at Chameleon
POPEYES!!!!!!!
Acadia's Shrimp Acadia

Four Places In Portland I Would Rather Be Right Now:
In my bed (I am soooooooo hung over today---too much wine with the Oscars)
In my hot tub (ditto)
Watching a movie at Kennedy School
Doggie park (with Rufus)

Kudos to Rusty

This is my friend Rusty, who also moved to Seattle last year (this photo was taken when we all went to Prague):

When he read on my blog that I was sickly he quickly sent off this lovely "get well" card to wish me tidings of good health.

Also in the card was a newspaper headline clipping reading "Don't give your Pussy away". I'm sure there's a hidden meaning in there somewhere.

Thanks Rusty! I LOVE YOU!

Red Dress Madness

The Red Dress party is April 1st this year. If you're not familiar with Red Dress it's a benefit event that cost $35 to get in and then it's open bar all night. That's the good part. The even better part (of bad part if you're guy) is EVERYONE has to wear a red dress. This is a picture from the first year.

This is a picture from the 2nd year.


This is a picture from the first year but might as well be last year because the Roommate and I wore the same dresses three years running. I know, SHAMEFUL! So this year we're getting new dresses and I'm dragging the Monk along too.

Last year's party was especially eventful. Last year our friend Pat gave us his VIP tickets so we got to go in at 6 pm (I know, really early for a party, but stick with me) with the other VIPs for the very special version. There was a spread of food that was fabulous, gifties and things like makeovers (in case you failed to apply makeup at home). So the Roommate and I bellied up and pigged out. Problem with that is by oh, about midnight, the open bar became a problem for me. I fell down in the ladies room in from to two drag queens (which in itself is horrifying, but when the drag queens point and laugh, well, let's just say I crawled out of the restroom instead of having to face them) and decided it was time to leave. Seemed like a good idea to me. On my way out I of course grabbed my coat as it was Portland in March, so therefore a bit chilly. Since I was at the coat check I decided to pick up the Roommate's coat as well, since he'd surely forget to pick it up himself. I also decided I wouldn't go find the Roommate to tell him I was leaving because I didn't want him to worry about me and I was going to be a BIG GIRL and take care of myself. So, I grabbed the coats, caught a cab and planted myself in my bed all cozy-like. That was probably around 1 am.
Around 3 am the Roommate calls me on the home phone (had been trying on my cell, which was in the kitchen, therefore I didn't hear it) and he was not particularly happy. Turns out I had not only left with his coat, but since he had on a dress, I had his wallet---including money and ID, cell phone, and car keys in my purse. So he was stuck in the warehouse district after 3 am without a coat, any way to get home and no money for a cab. I'm a GREAT ROOMMATE, aren't I? He finally got a ride with our friend Pat and had a whole ordeal just to get to that point, and when he finally arrived at the house at around 6 am, he burst into my room, flipped on the light and yelled "YOU LEFT ME!" to which I replied "no I didn't" although what other reason could possibly explain my sleeping all comfy like in my warm bed for the last 5 hours, but it made perfect sense to me.
So, moral of the story? Two possible answers:
a) Don't leave all your stuff with me trusting I will stay sober and still be around when you're ready to leave
b) Tuck your money in your tighty whities

Now it's time to go shopping for a new red dress! Visit http://www.reddresspdx.com/RDP2006.php to get your tickets today.

Let's try this one more time........

Just a short post to update the whole "giving up something for lent" thing. It appears the masses aren't exactly behind the "give up paying for my own drinks" promise; I've gotten comments like "see ya", "gonna get kinda parched, aren't ya" and "hope you like water", as well as my favorite "good luck with that", so I'm thinking this probably is going to end up falling into the "backfired" column. With this realization just one day after my global announcement, I put on my thinking cap and decided to trie another idea. Since it's still Ash Wednesday, the opening ceremonies for Lent, I figure I still have time, at least till midnight officially. So this morning I set about trying to come up with an alternative "give up", and I have. I basically wanted to do something that would:

a) provide "grace" as in being a "holy fuckpants"
b) save me some moula
c) be at least a little healthy without going so far as giving up fried chicken or booze
d) avoid as many curt responses as possible

My solution? I'm giving up my closeted friendship with the vending machines here at work. For a few dollars a day my friends in the basement provide me with all kinds of empty calories, unwanted carbs, dangerous trans fats with their only request in payment being my hard earned change. I'm sorry soda machine, crunchy snack machine and spinning turnstiled stale sandwich dispenser, I am breaking up with you. Although you make me feel good for a short time, the glow wears off quickly which leaves me with a longing in my soul, thicker hips and an empty pocketbook. We'll call it a "trial separation" for now but you have to realize the possibility that this may just be it for us, you know, I really probably need to move on. Just like with Mr. Cancer-in-a-Capri-box, my "skinniest cigarettes in the world" chum, I will most likely come to the conclusion that I really don't need your negative impact on my life. Don't worry, there'll be others and if you've see the cows walking around here, you know won't be missing me long.

Farewell fat dispensers, takers of my lowly wages, you will be gone but not forgotten---since I have to pass your portal every working day. So long, fuckpants!