What to do?

What do you write when you no longer have anything to say?

Usually, I assume, it would be "goodbye".

Goodbye is for quitters so something's got to change.

New look. New Suz. Stay tuned.

Guess who?

Guess who's got a major summer cold and feels like death not even anywhere near warmed over? You get three guesses and the first two don't count.

I'm going to climb under the couch in my office and take a nap.

My bad.

Turns out this photo was not taken of the castle/cathedral in Prague, it's actually somewhere in Poland, only the Roommate didn't send it to me until he was in Prague so you can understand from where my confusion stems. That and the high quality of the image didn't help either, nor the fact that all those ancient Eastern European cities all look the same. And as in "the same" I mean breath-fucking-taking beautiful. Even considering this was a formerly Soviet ruled country, I mean some things even the commies just can't fuck up---and in the case of whatever building this is, Hitler either.

Welcome home Roommate and Boytek! Thanks for the lovley prezzies!

A big Rusty Gay Pride!

This is a weird shot. Not because of the guys dressed like ladies, no, it's the sun's out in this photo. I don't remember much sun last weekend! Wait, this shot was taken Saturday, the sun peeked out for a bit come to think of it. Check out the clouds in the far background if you don't believe me. I even bought an umbrella for the occasion.

More sun, must be Saturday, but again, check out the clouds. Not sure who this is with Rusty, but something convinced him to pose with Our Rusty. Yep, that's right, it must have been our Rusty.

Pat, Katie, me and Our Rusty. One of those drinks I'm holding is Rusty's, I swear.

Rusty, at what Rusty does best. Getting up close and personal with strangers.

And finally, Rusty with one Storm Large, a personal hero. This was taken just after he was told he could not, in fact, climb up on the stage and just before he was cut off at the block party. Party on Rusty!

The roof, the roof, the Rufus on Fire!

Interesting day today. Yesterday I took the morning off sick (and not because of "brown bottle" sickness, I was having severe sinus issues) so when I went to work around 1 I decided to do a little experiment; I put Rufus in my bedroom but didn't close the door completely, so he would have the run of the house. Now, mind you, Rufus hasn't had this privilege before----not for more than 5 minutes anyway---so I was taking a huge chance leaving him out free for a full four plus hours. But low and behold, when I got home he was there at the kitchen door to greet me and nothing in the house was destroyed. I'm sure he barked his fool head off at anyone who walked down the sidewalk in front of our house but I don't care, I wasn't there to hear it and he evidently can be trusted on his own, now that he's almost 4 and all.

So this morning I decided to do the same thing, when I left I didn't close the bedroom door all the way, secure in my belief that he would be a good dog again. As I drove to the train I wondered if I had remembered to close and lock the back door, and almost went back to check. I changed my mind because that would have made me very late for work and the backyard is almost completely Rufus-escape-proof. Besides, surely I closed it and just didn't remember.

Then I wondered if I had turned off my curling iron this morning. Not that I ever forget but I was already in worry mode as it was, what with possibly leaving the backdoor open and therefore allowing Rufus to roam the neighborhood free.

Luckily I had closed the door on the middle finger of my left hand so I was preoccupied with whether or not I will form a bruise under my nail (already have) and diverted my worry thoughts. Besides, if I set the house on fire with my curling iron, surely Rufus can escape from the burning structure through the back door I probably left open.

Only time will tell, besides, I made it to work on time so no worries.

Happy June 'Teenth! (If you don't know the story of "June Teenth" leave a message in the comments and I will explain.)

Seriously

I have come to believe that no one actually works on Fridays anymore, because I have gotten scant little e-mail today and zilch at my personal e-mail account. So to all of you who don't have to work on Fridays all I have to say is screw you. I'll be here till 5:30 while you hit your third of many happy hours. Hope you don't have a hang over tomorrow. Seriously.

This weekend is all about Our Rusty, who is making a rare visit to the Rose City. I vow to take many photos and post a photo essay in his honor soon. Seriously.

I'm having a BBQ in Rusty's honor tonight and I thought it was supposed to be nice today but when I woke up this morning it was raining. I want sunny warm weather this evening because there's few things worse than a soggy cook out. Seriously.

Today on the train there was a woman with a stroller and a child in the stroller (as that's where they tend to hang) and the woman babbled on and on to the kid who I am guessing was about a year an a half old (but I'm not good at age guessing kids, so it could very well have been a young teenager) trying to keep the kid from getting cranky. Just as the baby was about to pitch a fit she told the tot their stop was the next one and got up from her seat readying the stroller. An old dude sitting near buy waved at the kid and said "bye bye" very sweetly and the baby spat out "shut up". Wonder where it learned that?

Riding the train is entertaining. Seriously.

"Thank you for calling Verizon, please hold your breath"

The nightmare that is my quest, finding someone at Verizon to sell me circuits, briefly took a turn for the better this morning but then took a swift turn for the worse. I was passed off a couple times this morning until I was told that (no lie) "Dicksie Hunter"---sounds like a drag queen name to me, get it, Dick Hunter?---was my new rep. Until she decided we were talking resale so now I'm back with one Ric Ponce De Leon, who, as luck would have it, is the rep I pretty much started my long and winding journey attempting to order circuits from two weeks ago. Yes, I have come full circle within Verizon, traveling via e-mail all over this great country of ours. Only to be deposited with the one who sent me packing from the start. Fingers crossed he even answers my e-mail.

If anyone would like a challenge and either has bags of money or can find the financing to buy a evidently profitable company, all you need do is look into buying Verizon/MCI. Then lay off the entire staff of sales/customer service folks and point all the toll free numbers to a call center manned completely by a heard of monkeys. All the monkeys would have to do is pick up the receiver when a phone rings and then hang up on the customer immediately. Repeat. You would be able to accomplish the same thing Verizon does on a daily basis only now without the overhead of personnel as monkeys will work for bananas.

I hope Mr Ponce De Leon actually has found the fountain of youth because I'm going to need a drink. It appears it will take more than my natural life to get my circuits ordered.

As I always said when I worked at Hugs and Kisses, "Thank god for Verizon, because of them we're not the worst in the industry".
Fun!

Prague

The Roommate just sent me this photo from his phone. The cathedral in Prague, at sunset. Just as beautiful as I remembered it.

Frustration with links.

Well, Blogger will not allow me to post a photo of the boys in front of Auschwitz so I am forced to be a little more creative. Today's post will be all about links. You can see the photo of my world travelers here. I was going to post more of their photos last night but I was having internet issues. Story too long and boring to go into, so we'll leave it at that.

Yesterday in an e-mail I told the Roommate I missed him but he probably didn't miss me because he was in Europe. He said he did miss me just as much, only not as often.

I have been frustrated lately, to say the least. Money problems, the afore mentioned Internet issues, allergies and SOMEONE has been taking advantage of the Roommate being gone and has been misbehaving just like the spoiled rotten child he is. Had a little time out in the kennel last night and he wasn't happy about that, nosirre!

Since the Roommate had the floor refinished in the sun room while he is away I decided to go ahead and paint the walls, since all the furniture has been removed and pictures taken off the walls (the latter because of the dust kicked up by the sander). Since we have steel blue throw pillows and curtains in the room I decided to go with a very pale blue. When I went to the paint store I second guessed myself and got a more blue paint and when the clerk put the little sample of paint on the can lid I figured I went too light because it was almost white. Then when I put some on the wall it turned out to be the color of an infant boy's nursery, and you know how I feel about babies. So hauled the gallon of paint on the train with me this morning and pawned it off on a coworker who just had a baby boy and went back to the store and got my original color and had to wait 30 minutes while the stupid couple in front of me picked out about 7 colors and had them all mixed. My clerk evidently couldn't multi-task so I had to wait till they had all their paint before he'd take my order for Delicate Blue in a satin finish. I then went home to spend my Monday evening painting the room only to find out once I arrived home that the dumb ass clerk mixed SEMI-GLOSS. Nice. So I was forced to watch On Demand "Sex and the City" and drink wine only to I haul the gallon of paint on the train with me and managed to pawn it off on a coworker who's wife just had a baby boy. That means this evening it's back to the paint store to kick some dumb-ass-clerk-ass and get my non-lip gloss shiny blue/gray paint. Oh, and then paint. Fun.

Then all day I tried to orde DSL from Verizon. (And yes I did come across that exact page many, many times. Get your damn site fixed!) Did I mention the part about ALL DAY? Evidently Verizon has gotten their shit less together since their merger with MCI (proof that there is no god). I may have to kill someone.

Thank god for Erin or I wouldn't have had a single laugh all day. She's funnier than shit today.

What the f..........

I am so disappointed with the series finale of the Sopranos. They ended it with a Journey song? What a frickin' let down.

I hate Journey.

Just sent an e-mail to the Roommate in Poland

"Hey there,
Not sure if you heard because you are probably not engrossed in Polish newscasts (reported in Polish, no less) and I'm sure the country of Poland as a whole has more important things to occupy their collective minds but Paris was released to house arrest by the sheriff on Thursday, for medical reasons, only to be dragged back into court on Friday where she was sent back to jail to sit out her entire 40+ day original sentence. Dragged kicking and screaming and not very "Paris-like" at all, to be exact. Tears and shouts of "It's not right!" and "Mom!". Tisk tisk. Do the crime, do the time, even if you're Paris Hilton. There is justice after all, or at least a crumb of it every once in a while.

How goes life behind the no longer iron curtain?
Suz"

Yippppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee!

"It's not right!".........the shout heard 'round the world. Speaking of "around the world" I wonder if Paris's delima has hit the headlines in Poland as it has here in the good-ol'-media-obsessed-USA? Somehow I doubt it; I'll have to check with the Roommate to know for sure.

Well, all I can say is it is my guess that up until she was hauled into court this morning, Miss Hilton had the whole thing planned out. Damn, reality bursting in sometimes smarts. Ouch. And also thank god.

Here's your Friday laugh!

Girls Are Pretty is funnier than shit today; check it out. More later. Ta!

Strangness abounds.

I have been asked recently how the new job is going and I have to say “couldn’t be better”. Here’s a run down:
-I work with people I like
-I work for a company I believe in
-There’s a wine shop in my building that serves by the glass
-I get a transit pass so I don’t have to pay for downtown parking or battle traffic
-I am paid well
-So far I am good at my job
-I haven’t had to fill my gas tank since I left H&K
-There’s a bunch of beer and a bottle of champagne in the office fridge.
So I guess that says it all, pretty much. Happy happy, joy joy!

And speaking of my coveted and paid for transit pass, I ride the light rail train to and from work and that round trip each day could pretty much fill a blog entry a day on it’s own. Portland is an eclectic city full of people of diverse lifestyles along with a whole bunch of weirdoes so the trip into downtown (where the weirdoes go to congregate) is usually interesting to say the least. I hear Porltand is also the #1 city in the nation for lesbians to come out of the closet and the city has quite a few trans-gender folks as well. Yesterday on the train I noticed a woman who was evidently going through a gender change because she looked like a woman in every way, except for her goatee. I had heard earlier in the week that there were quite a few women in the downtown area sporting goatees but this was the first I had seen. A few stops into my journey I noticed a large woman sitting to my left (I was standing) fiddling with a “crackberry” in an opened book in her ample lap but thought nothing of it. The bearded lady was sitting immediately to her left, facing her, reading a book. A few minutes later a movement from the woman sitting next to me caught my eye; she was holding up the crackberry and evidently had it in camera mode because I could see the bearded lady’s face on it’s screen. “She is NOT going to take a photo of her” I thought to myself, and repeated the thought again when I heard a very audible camera-snapping-a-photo sound. I was aghast, HOW FUCKING RUDE! I mean she was sitting so close to her subject that the bearded lady knees were basically pressing against her fat thighs. The bearded lady looked up with disinterest look on her face, followed quickly by an pretty angry look. “Did you just take a picture of me?” she asked with a hint of impatience in her voice. The fat lady ignored her at first but then said yes without even looking in the speaker’s direction. “Please delete it” was all the goateed lady said, and repeated it when she got no response. “I will not, but thank you for asking” responded the plump paparazzi. The bearded lady shook her head and continued to read. I so wanted to tell the photographer she was a rude, fat bitch but I held my tongue; I am not yet sure of the protocol for a mass transit traveler. I’ll have to stop by my local TriMet ticket office to pick up a copy of their manners handbook because at this point I have no clue.

Also recent downtown incidents worthy of mention;
I saw a man walking a ferret on a leash
A cat riding on top of a bedroll balanced on a backpack strapped to a walking homeless person
I have been asked for spare change at least a million times
A stranger (homeless teenager) asked to borrow my cell phone. Yeah, almost fell for THAT ONE again. Pfffhh.

So yeah, everything is pretty much normal here in downtown Portland; I had forgotten how weird it was since I haven’t worked here in about 4 years. How’s shit in your neck of the woods?

Like a ping pong ball in a clothes dryer.

I got a couple of verbal spankings the last few days on account of my less than regular posting. I will try to correct this. Many pardons, now get off my back.

I didn’t get much sleep last night and whenever that happens I have trouble keeping my mind from going off on a tangent. It’s like a temporary case of Attention Deficit Disorder is the only way to describe it. Also a lot of twinklings and splotching in my vision, if that makes sense, therefore not unlike a mild acid trip. Not a handy trait when trying to be productive at work but there you go, no amount of coffee is going to fix it and it’s too early for a nap (even though I have a couch in my office---oh, yes, I do! Jealous.).

I dropped the Roommate off at the airport this morning for his two week trip to Europe. He and Boytek are going to tour Poland, then spend a few days in Prague before heading to Berlin. Fun---only not for me. I just better get a shit load of post cards, you guys---just saying. And yes, Boytek, I just said “just saying”!

And if it weren’t bad enough that the Roommate is gone, Paris is in jail, too! I think someone should have planned their excursions a little better, you know, keeping ME in mind, because this so sucks. Who am I going to text with? Who’s going to call me? Not the Roommate, international rates suck ass. Not Paris, he phone was taken away when she hit the slammer. So, I have no one to hang out with basically and no, I’m not hanging with Nicole, I hate that bitch; if it weren’t for her I’d be on Simple Life right now.

Since I am being deprived of all human contact (no Roommate OR Paris, *sob!*) it’s either talking to Rufus, who is an excellent listener but not so good at the back and forth conversation thing, or I am left to my own thoughts. Or thought, singular, I don’t have too many of those now days. Too busy. And sleepy. I guess I’m stuck with the lively, albeit one sided, conversation with Rufus. As long as I make sure to use words like “squirrel”, “birdie”, “doggie park” or “ride in car” he’s all ears. And crazy, old man hair, but I digress.

I have my friends and Rusty is coming to town next weekend so I’ll be good, not lonely but just not the constant companion I am used to having around to make fun of people with. And I’ll probably get a lot done around the house now that the Roommate is not a constant distraction. As far as the household it’s all about me for the next two weeks. And Rufus. And Rusty for a weekend. Otherwise, just me.

Not Suz! She’s so boring! I wish Paris was here, she'd be entertaining and engaging plus she'd probably pick up the tab for lunch.

I want to be like Gauguin

I ran into a friend today who showed me where he has the word “Tahiti” in his wallet as a subtle hint for him to visit there. He figures if he sees it enough he’ll figure out a way to get there. I was thinking of it more like a reminder to go, and since I haven’t been to Tahiti I figure it’s because I haven’t reminded myself to go. So, damn, I just plum forgot to go to Tahiti---I hate when that happens! I’m sure that’s the only reason I haven’t been there. Positive. I need to remind myself to pick up some post-it notes so I can leave myself a few handy reminders.

Or maybe I should write lines:
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to Tahiti.
I will remember to go to the bathroom.

*Bathroom break*

What was I going to do again?