Erin Go Barf

So I get what people mean when they say New Year's Eve and St Patrick's Day are "amateur nights"; the Roommate and I arrived just after 6:00 at one of the big block parties thrown this past Friday night and everyone else was drunk right off their asses. At 6:00, and this particular party didn't have an open bar. One chick in our party dropped 4 cocktails that I counted, another had a drink poured down her back by a guy trying to navigate the shoulder to shoulder crowd. And let me tell you, the only thing worse than being the only person not drunk out of many several hundred drunkards is being that same non-drunk person desperately trying to get their first drink and not being able to get a cocktail waitresse's attention. I tell you, that is hell on earth. And have you ever noticed people's outfits on St Paddy's Day? Ugly clothes that went out of style decades earlier and usually horribly faded, and you just know these cloth relics are saved for this one day of the year---BECAUSE THEY ARE GREEN. Imagine that you're an article of clothing, well past your prime and no longer looking "fresh" and unless you are, by the grace of god, say GREEN (or have a teddybear in a Santa hat embroidered on the front) you are doomed to become a car wash rag the second your wide lapels or ruffled skirt is a little past it's "in style" date. The Roommate was smart, he had on a button down Oxford (from Fennigan's Wake in NY) with a long sleeved T under it, with a short sleeved tee under that, just in case he got spilled or puked on (or both) he could strip away the soiled shirt and not have to walk around nekked all evening.

And there ain't NOTHIN' amateur about that.