A Phallic Photo Essay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since we're talking about penises, and who isn't these days, Eddy and I went on a little phallic tour of the Oregon coast last Sunday, and when you'’re mind'’s on dick, you tend to see it everywhere, or things that somewhat resemble dicks, anyway. But I'’m not going bore you with childish potty humor, but I will take you on a little photo tour of The Column at Astoria.

So, you're thinking "That sure looks like a regular ordinary column, the kind you see on palatial mansions every day of the week" but look closer----no, I wasn't going to say it looked like a dick. I was going to say "That's not an ordinary column, there's people on the top!" and yep, see, up there on the observation platform there are gawking tourists, just like me. Hmmm, but now that you mentioned it, it does kinda look like a dick.

Eddy took this shot from the top; see my Jeep? Wait, my photos got out of sequence!

On the way from Seaside to Astoria Eddy asked casually if I was afraid of enclosed spaces or heights, like it was normal car chatter, and I answered negatore to the former and positivo to the latter. The Suz is highly afraid of heights, in fact I'm even uneasy standing on a chair, so when I saw this tower and realized we were going to climb up it I was a pillar of strength, all "I'm going to conquered it" until I started climbing the spiral staircase inside. And while you're climbing up, some dumbass is climbing down, being all spastic and clumsy, why you have to grasp the center stair pole just to say on the stairs!

The column, or penis pole, if you will, is highly decorated and amazing to look at, just like a real dick, only this one tells the story of Oregon, or something. It appears I lose interest in this one faster than a real one. Which is a good thing.

So, anyway I make it all the way to the top and manage to stay there just long enough to have my photo taken, then I bolted right back down those stairs and knocked over an old lady or two on the way down. And look how far I am away from the railing! Could I plaster myself any closer to that wall?

When we were finally safe and sound on the firm earth, we paused to let a passerby take our photo in front of the Great Big Tall Bridge. Only that passerby decided we needed the Asian woman absorbed in her book as our backdrop. So we get that for the photo album.

So that was a small portion of our trip to the coast, a day full of chilly weather and giant penises. No better way to pass a Sunday afternoon. On second thought I can think of one better way.......