He warned me. The new guy (now to be known as Eddy) had mentioned he didn't like putting things together. I found this hard to believe because he's so good with mazes, puzzles and his hands........um, but that's another matter. So he was a little leary when I asked if he could take me to Homo Depot to "look at" a grill as a surprise for the Roommate.
Howdy, welcome to Crazy Eddy's House of Grills!
The Roomie's grill had developed this amusing little habit of shooting flames out it's front, from under the actual grill part, with the sole intent of flame broining your private parts. I was having none of that, so I convinced Eddy to take me in his SUV to "look at" a new grill---simply looking---since no grill worthy of cooking on would fit into my Jeep, even with the top off. I assured Eddy that should I pick out a grill, he would not have to assemble said grill since Homo Depot did the assembing for free! And gladly! One could tell this was a truth since each and every grill had a big sign hanging off of it boasting "Assembly Free!", adding "fuck, it even cooks shit itself, no human necessary!" So we walked around the stainless steel grills, the black as night cast iron grills (I suppose they were cast iron, can't really tell but they seem a lot like the skillets I grew up with in the south), the cheap ass grills you wouldn't be caught cooking on in a trailer park, etc. Anyway, I pointed out all the lovely "Assembly Free!!!!" tags and we went off looking for a sales clerk to bring forth our pre-assembled grill. Turns out that the very grill I had picked out was the only model that only had the "display model" pre-assembled, and it being the National Holiday Weekend of Grilling and all I couldn't take that one. So please help Eddy load that un-assembled fucker into the SUV, thanks.
The Roomie's grill had developed this amusing little habit of shooting flames out it's front, from under the actual grill part, with the sole intent of flame broining your private parts. I was having none of that, so I convinced Eddy to take me in his SUV to "look at" a new grill---simply looking---since no grill worthy of cooking on would fit into my Jeep, even with the top off. I assured Eddy that should I pick out a grill, he would not have to assemble said grill since Homo Depot did the assembing for free! And gladly! One could tell this was a truth since each and every grill had a big sign hanging off of it boasting "Assembly Free!", adding "fuck, it even cooks shit itself, no human necessary!" So we walked around the stainless steel grills, the black as night cast iron grills (I suppose they were cast iron, can't really tell but they seem a lot like the skillets I grew up with in the south), the cheap ass grills you wouldn't be caught cooking on in a trailer park, etc. Anyway, I pointed out all the lovely "Assembly Free!!!!" tags and we went off looking for a sales clerk to bring forth our pre-assembled grill. Turns out that the very grill I had picked out was the only model that only had the "display model" pre-assembled, and it being the National Holiday Weekend of Grilling and all I couldn't take that one. So please help Eddy load that un-assembled fucker into the SUV, thanks.
Shiny, shiny, pretty, pretty
Eddy groaned, he sincerely did not want to spend the last evening of his 4 day weekend putting someone else's grill together, and that point was driven home when we opened all the boxes, boxes inside boxes in fact, all containing tiny parts just waiting to be screwed into other parts with the sole intent of becomining a shiny new grill, pre-assembled to the lucky but not so much to us. I bribed Eddy with Mike's Hard Lemonaide and promises of a hot tub after and before long we had a shiny new grill......
Eddy groaned, he sincerely did not want to spend the last evening of his 4 day weekend putting someone else's grill together, and that point was driven home when we opened all the boxes, boxes inside boxes in fact, all containing tiny parts just waiting to be screwed into other parts with the sole intent of becomining a shiny new grill, pre-assembled to the lucky but not so much to us. I bribed Eddy with Mike's Hard Lemonaide and promises of a hot tub after and before long we had a shiny new grill......
Looks like they need to join the junk drawer crew!
....with only a scant few extra parts left over, obviously an oversight on the manufacturer's part. I'm sure it's ok, sturdy and all. And it probably won't shoot flames out the front, at least for not a while. Well, that's what I'm hoping, anyway.
Who volunteers to light the first BBQ?
*crickets chirping*
As much I thought.
....with only a scant few extra parts left over, obviously an oversight on the manufacturer's part. I'm sure it's ok, sturdy and all. And it probably won't shoot flames out the front, at least for not a while. Well, that's what I'm hoping, anyway.
Who volunteers to light the first BBQ?
*crickets chirping*
As much I thought.
3 comments:
He's too nice to you.
Shhhhhhhhh, he'll hear you.
Yes, I'll admit, I was not looking forward to assembling the BBQ. Especially when I saw the consise 64 page booklet on how to assemble it! But in reality, the experience wasn't bad at all. I forgot that Suz isn't the raging control freak that my ex is and that seems to be the root of my nervousness when it comes to assembly projects. She's being far too nice to me!
Post a Comment