S goes to a ball game.

"S" in action

So, my friend S in Seattle called today to tell me how she spent her Sunday yesterday. She and a friend had decided to go to the Seahawks game and ended up buying scalped tickets from a guy in front of Qwest Field. Because the game didn’t start for several hours, S and her friend decided to get their groove on before the kick off so they headed to a bar close by. Now if you know S you know she knows all about "the drinking", and is quite good at it, to boot. There were shots and beers and she probably made out with a guy or two, knowing S, and I do know S---we’ve been friends since way back, when we both lived in Dallas. So anyway, S and her friend stumbled back to the stadium and presented their tickets to gain admission and were shocked to find that the tickets had already been scanned and therefore no good. Oh, the travesty! Oh, the disappointment! Oh, that asshole that ripped them off was going to get his come-uppence, but good. S and her friend were hell bent on a little Texas Justice. Imagine if you will two hot chicks, a bit on the stumbly-drunk side who manage to track down the bastard that ripped them off for $125 a piece and also manage to get their money back. Now our two lady friends still wanted to go to the game but didn’t want to take the chance of bunk tickets again, so they put on their thinking caps to come up with a real Lucy and Ethel plan. And Lucy and Ethel they did! They spotted a stadium employee pushing a medium sized dumpster out of the stadium gate and asked their would be savior if he’d be interested in smuggling them in for the tune of $100. Well, our hero, Fernando, was more than happy to watch two drunk-ass hot chicks climb in a dumpster and then have the perverted pleasure of dumping trash all over them and soiling a couple pair of $145 designer jeans. Fernando whisked the dumpster full of trash and trashy chicks back into the stadium, helped the ladies out of their chariot and was duly presented with his $100 reward. S and her friend had to spend part of the game in the “standing room only” area but managed to stumble upon our friends K and R and squeezed their garbage-smelling butts into their row. So what do you do when you wrangle an almost free pass to a NFL playoff game? You continue to drink! And that is what S and her friend did. She called me just before noon today to tell me this fabulous tale and now I’m telling you all. Enjoy, and pass the story around.