Dubious of the Losers

Recent conversation with a former coworker via instant messagner, subject being the pitfalls of online dating:

Her: hot dates this weekend?
Me: No, no dates, hot or otherwise.
Me: I'm thinking about giving up on men.
Her: okay, but we're only going to second base on our dates
Me: K
Me: That'll do me.
Her: and just so we're on the same page - that means nothing below the belt, right?
Me: I think it's above the sweater but not sure. I was never into baseball.
Me: God, you should see the losers on Match.com. Major LOSERS, but that's probably why they're meeting ladies via the internet instead of through their rugged good looks, superior conversational skills and sparkling personality.
Me: Speaks volumes on why I'm there. Low standards. Married twice, that'll lower them.
Her: my friend angel is on fastcupid
Me: How does she like that?
Her: she gets a lot of dates from there
Me: Is she in a younger age group than I?
Her: she's 34
Me: Ah
Me: Perhaps I should dump Match since I get the same losers time and again.
Her: yeah
Me: Funny how they don't get any more attractive with a second or third viewing and ever decreasing expectations on my part.
Her: funny ha ha or funny queer?
Me: Funny as in disappointing. I pay good money every month to buy me a heap of disappointment.
Her: its expensive?
Her: fast cupid is free
Me: Really? Ok, I'm signing up. Free disappointment is better than paid disappointment, any day. I paid 6 months in advance in November; wonder if I can get a refund. Their fault, they attract losers.
Me: I always figured you'd get more losers on the free services, but eh, I'm sure losers are everywhere. Willing to give it a whirl.
Her: i am asking where else she recommends
Me: I get old guys pictured in recliners made of the same fabric as their shirts, wanting to take me hunting.
Her: lol
Me: Seriously, if I'm going to date an old guy he better be handsome, rich and have a prescription for viagra.
Me: she said the old guys are everywhere
Me: I'm sure. A huge percent are probably married.
Her: bastards
Me: Evidently my profile says I like fat, bald, bespectacled, old guys who happen to actually be married.
Me: Oh, and ESPN junkies.
Her: have you gone on a date with one that you know has been married
Me: Nope.
Me: The dude from Seattle, I asked him repeatedly if he was and he always said no. He had such a weird schedule of when he's available and only contacted me via IM. Suspicious.
Her: yeah
Me: Or shall I say dubious.
Her: nice word
Her: moot* and dubious
Her: moot dubious
Her: dubious moot
Me: Words are fun!

* Yesterday's word of the day.