The Time We Invented Lingerie Croquet

Crap, it’s the fourth of the new year already and I haven’t posted yet. What’s worse, not a whole lot of funny stuff has happened this year---and that’s a bad sign. But anywho, I think I’ll revisit a fun time a couple of summers ago when the Roommate and I invented “Lingerie Croquet”.

One sunny Saturday morning in early September we were sitting on the patio (which now has a deck on top of it) wondering what to do. “Let’s go to the river” the Roommate said, quickly followed by “Do we have any tequila?” Any story that starts with “Do we have any tequila”---or any random sentence with the word “tequila” in it---isn’t going to turn out pretty. So, after a shot each we decided to see if any friends wanted to join us for a lovely dip in the Tequila River.

So we called Katie. She was running errands but would come over.

We called Rusty. He had worked the night before (graveyard shift tech at a local hospital) and was grumpy. He’d think about it.

We called Dana. She didn’t want to come over. Period. Because she was on her period.

So, we waited, which means we drank some more. Rusty called back and would come but had to do some laundry first and he had to work that night, anyway, so really he was a "maybe". We would wait and he’d be fine to work, we guaranteed him. Katie called back but was stuck in traffic (I know, on a SATURDAY?) but was on her way. Dana called back but still didn’t want to come over. So we drank some more and then the Roommate called Dana back again and told her she WAS IN FACT COMING OVER and hung up on her. She called back fuming but the Roommate informed her that her cell coverage must be bad and she lost the call, so come over. AND BRING BEER. And he hung up on her again. This went back and forth a few times until she was convinced she HAD TO come over and she was bringing a CASE of beer, too (remember, the Roommate is in sales). Then Rusty showed up and Katie called and was close, did we need anything? Beer---so Katie showed up with beer. Then Dana showed up with a case of beer and a bad attitude, but that was not to last long, as fate would intercede. And then the Roommate decided that it was kinda late and maybe we should just play croquet instead, which didn’t exactly go over well but what the heck, everyone was getting a little lit anyway.

So the Roommate stripped down to his boxers because the shorts were long and kind of hot. When I saw this I said, “Well if you’re wearing your underwear, so am I” and I ran into the house to get the cute little (which is the perfect word for it) matching bra and panties you see in the picture. Of course everyone wanted to wear undies, so I hurried in and got all the lingerie I could find, at one point even Rusty had on a camisole. I also brought out some fun hats and a couple of boas. Let the games……..begin!

So the playing of croquet and the drinking of anything that wasn’t nailed down ensued and after the trio of Katie, Rusty and Dana wandered into the front yard to greet the neighbor’s realtor and a lot of other stuff happened that I don’t remember because of the tequila fog, I decided to have a nap. When I woke up the sun was still out and the back yard was full of people playing croquet, the music was blaring, and Rusty had called in sick. We were having ourselves a regular house party.

The neighbors complained later that night but that didn’t deter us. There was drinking, there was hot tubing, there was all around good cheer……in OUR backyard anyway. And although we’ve tried to relive the initial festivities of the first Lingerie Croquet, we never were able to pull it off. Some things are just better left as a fond memory.

So keep this theme in mind for your next party, once your guests get over the initial shock of having to strip down to their skivvies, fun is sure to follow.

I wish it were summer already.