It's a Binford kinda day.....

A long time ago when I was still married and living in Dallas, I popped my big toenail off my right foot in an unfortunate furniture refinishing accident. While scraping the footboard, it slid toward me and because it was Texas, I didn't have shoes on; the bottom edge of the footboard caught my toenail and lifted it just like you'd open a trunk. It bled and I tried to hold it down with band aids but as it grew, it pushed itself right off my toe.

Now around this same time I had a friend named Steve Binford, who lost both is big toenails kickboxing as a kid. After the toenails were popped off a number of times they gave up and stopped growing back so he had what kinda looked like a belly button where the nail should have been. So in Steve's honor I named the big toe on my right foot "The Binford". After about 6 months it had replaced itself but I noticed that the nail didn't have as good a grip on my toe as it used to and figured somewhere along the line it would pop off again, since these things tend to happen to me. When the Roommate and I took a trip to New Orleans a few years ago I had an nasty hangover-induced run in with some rolling luggage, and wouldn't you know it, the damn thing jumped ship again, and once the nail grew back it had even less of a grip than before along with a nail as ugly as homemade soap. I've been paranoid about another toe episode ever since.

Well, as luck would have it I jammed it on something a few months back and since then the damaged part has grown out to the tip and I had noticed a greatly weakened toe nail. Saturday morning I woke up and it felt kind of funny, I guess a little more Binford than usual, so when I looked at it I saw that the extreme left third of the nail had split and fallen off. Or escaped, if you will. One would assume it was in the bed somewhere but despite extensive search and rescue, the toenail was not recovered for a proper burial, although the family (the other toes) have been notified.
Maybe Rufus found it----everyone say it together----ewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Monk asked if I should put a bandaid on it and I asked him "Why, so you don't have to look at it?". Unfortunately there is no way to make this thing look pretty and I'm going to have to suffer until it grows back. Or falls off completely. Thank god it's not going to be flipflop weather here until July.
And guess what!!! I took a picture of it---or where it used to be, anyway. I tried to post it this morning but had trouble downloading it from my camera. Too bad the picture didn't download as quickly as the toenail did. Make sure to check back later for the photo.