God strikes again! News at 11!

You probably noticed there was no Friday post for House of Suz; after you spent hours crying your eyes out and then making frantic calls to the authorities, you most likely calmed yourself down with a glass of wine and a shot of Jack and then proceeded to completely forget your worries. Well, put that bottle down, I’m ok, no thanks to God who has regularly been taking pot shots at me for no damn reason---the latest being him throwing huge wooden structures at my Jeep. Unprovoked and for no good reason that I can see.

The Roommate and I took the Jeep (with Rufus in tow) to Alberta for a little lunch yesterday, taking pains to make sure Rufus is parked somewhere in the shade. After our lovely Mexican meal and a stop at our local wine shop, Cork (20% off Labor Day Weekend sale) we started our walk back to the Jeep…which consisted of crossing Alberta---which is all of crossing a single street. As we neared the Jeep (about 20 paces) I noticed a large plywood and 2 x 4 panel, which had moments before been resting on the side of the building, start to quiver in the (rather strong) wind, a slight sort of spastic dance. Within a few more steps the panel started to wave back and forth frantically and let me tell you, I knew exactly what was about to happen next. The whole 12 x 16 piece of wood made a wild leap and hit my Jeep, with poor frightened Rufus stuck in it, who had to watch the entire disaster unfold. Damn God, goddamnit. He did it on purpose, dented the quarter panel and alternately scrapped the paint off and left a nice beige paint streak all the way up the fender. Nice job, God, way to fuck up my Jeep and my day.

Now I know accidents happen, but usually it’s someone’s fault, someone makes a miscalculated turn, ignores break lights, just messes up and allows human nature to do what it does best. This little accident had nothing to do with me or anyone fucking up supreme being being a little cranky. What’s even more unbelievable is Rufus wasn’t the cause of the whole diseaster either. Unless he taunted God that is, which is highly possible.

So err on the side of caution when parking your Jeep, God’s in quite a mood now days. Have a fun and safe Labor Day!