Happy New Year! Here's hoping '09 is less sucky than '08. Or '07. Or '06..........ad nausaum.

I am trying to think of ways to make this blog more interesting to me. Screw you guys, if I like it you'll damn well like it, too. I've got some changes so look for good things in the near future. Or not, maybe it'll be just like before. No promises, K?

Have a good one tonight and stay safe; there's bound to be drunkards out there tonight.

Cue the streamers and balloons.

I didn't realize Baby Jesus was one of a set of triplets!

Jeesesy Cresey, it's been a MONTH since I've posted. I know the negative one reader out there has probably missed me. Yes, I draw so few readers now that we are in the minus status now. I have to read other people's just to catch up.

So, since Thanksgiving I've been to LA, been snowed in and been broke (just about every day, in fact). The Roommate took me to LaLaLand to attend Aimee Mann's Christmas show (since she didn't come to Portland this year) and we had a blast. A few of the highlights:

Taking public transit to Beverly Hills (Where's your bus stop all up in here?)
Not being allowed in a Korean restaurant (We no have Engresh menu.) The staff literally blocked the door, so I fully mean the racial slur---na NA!
Attended the Vanity Fair show at LACMA
Borrowing another table's appetizer at a trendy restaurant in Malibu
Ferris wheel at Santa Monica
Almost missing our plane home.

Good times, good times.


I have noticed that not only have the blogs I frequent stopped posting of late but some have up and closed their doors. Is it the end of an era? Is House of Suz next? We'll see what the new year brings.

Be safe.

Let the shopping begin.

The only thing worse than being a WalMart employee is being killed at work, wearing that stupid vest.

Happy shopping. Wear a helmet.

Gobble gobble!

When the alarm went off at 7:30 this morning, my fist thought was "what the fuck". Although I didn't know why I wasn't going to work, I knew it wasn't a work day. But when I saw the time I realized it was time to put the turkey I cleaned and stuffed last night into the oven. The plan was to go to the gym but a short snooze back in bed is actually what happened.

Because I wanted to start my turkey day with a caloric deficit I did drag my ass to the gym after a short nap and wouldn't you know it, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was on, and I have to admit I got a little choked up with the memory of my annual childhood viewing of this staple. It has been at least 10 years since I've viewed this program and it only took a few minutes to realize why I don't watch it. NBC was all about statistics today. It's Macy's sesquicentennial but this is only the 82nd parade. The first Thanksgiving was in 1621. The Smurfs are celebrating their 50th anniversary although this is the first time there's been a Smurf balloon in the parade. The Rockettes started off the show and NBC made sure they got several tight closeups of the only African-American in the bunch. Way to pander to the Obama fans.

Two marching bands into the program and I was done, especially because of the threat of Miley Cyrus lip syncing in our near future. No wonder I went through such a long dry spell.

Happy Thanksgiving! I need to baste the bird now.

No on Prop H8!

I am starting to know what Iamnot feels like, seems my days are all gobbled up now that I am working. Plus I was sick, that was fun. 5 months of not working and wasn't sick A DAY but the second I get a job---BAM, laid up.

Even though I was sick I was able to drag myself to the No On 8 rally in Portland last weekend. Even sick and protesting I manage to look stylish. Had to, there were gay guys there and they have taste.


My question to you today:
Why do those who fail (65% divorce rate) get to decide who is fit to marry?

Look at me blogging so damn early in the am! Thanks to Erin for the photo. More about civil rights later.

'Bout frickin' time.

Remember this list? Well let's just add a few items to it, shall we?

• Made 2 tutus (that would be 8, right?)
• Made tons of fairy wings
• Cleaned out the basement
• Had said art show
• Successfully acquired gainful employment

Well, it's not that gainful, the pay is about half what I made at my last job but at least I'll be out of the house come Monday morning. Let the games begin.

In case you live under a rock....

Yesterday's election was quite historic, indeed.

Because an African American was elected President?
Because a woman was on the GOP ticket?
Because one team's mascot was a tax-avoiding non-plumber?

No, because for the first time in my 30 years of voting I voted for a presidential candidate who was YOUNGER THAN ME.

I am officially old. I should have voted for McCain---no one's older than he.

Did you vote yet?

Vote like you think it matters.

Pucker up

Evidently Dick Chaney wants Obama to win the election on Tuesday because today he gave McCain the kiss of death---his support. Kind of punctuates Day of the Dead, doesn't it?

If you want the real truth about the candidates, check this out.

Get out the vote!

In Oregon we vote by mail; no lines at the voting booth and the ballot comes right to your door! A group of our friends got together Wednesday to discuss the measures and candidates and in the end I picked up three ballots to drop off at the designated sites (you can either mail them in or drop them off, if you are keen on saving the stamp).

Just about any place can be an official drop off site but I opted to pass on the McDonalds in Hollywood---french fry-scented ballots just didn't seem to have the right vibe for a presidential election with no candidates from the deep south. Aside from driving all the way downtown, the only site I was aware of was the Obama headquarters on Killingsworth. Seems like a possible conflict of interest there but it's close to the house so that's where I went. When I walked in I held up the three ballots encased in their double envelopes and asked the ancient ladies at the desk where I should deposit them. The entire place broke out in cheers, people clapped and banged on pots---it was quite a show and extremely loud. I felt like a 3 year old using the toilet for the first time, Look who made a boom-boom in the potty! I've previously voted in, what, 7 presidential elections, and this was the first time I was congratulated on it. That's right, 'bout time I got my props! Just to ease my mind that I was actually voting one of the ancient ladies had me fill out the form, sign for each ballot and deposit them in a locked, wooden box. Democracy in action.

Yesterday afternoon someone from the Obama campaign called to remind us to vote (registered Democrats we are); I let them know we'd already voted and I was told we'd be taken off their reminder list. What about the commercials, can you make them stop as well? I wanted to ask. I voted, as far as I'm concerned it's over and I'm just waiting for the victory party on Tuesday, but still I'm going to have to sit through the radio and TV commercials for another 5 days, and the local ones are just plain constant. I bet the Mattress Giant is chomping at the bit to get a commercial on TV because it seems like I haven't heard from him in a while.

Oh, and remember to vote. Don't make me call you.

Trick or Treat

I'm making a Domokun costume (just the head) for a friend's son for Halloween. Let's see how it turns out.

Nice to hear from the WASSSUP guys.

Money Matters

What with all the economic turmoil in the world today, it's good to know where to move to find a job when you get your pink slip in the next few weeks. Luckily for us lazy folks, MSN has compiled the lists of the top 25 best places to find a job and the top 25 best places to remain unemployed. Take a moment to click on the links and review our choices. Don't worry about me, I'll just keep on making tutus* while you window shop.

---Musical interlude---

Ok, we're back. So, looking at the best places to find work as listed by MSN, the first thing that pops into my mind is the question "Who in the hell would want to live in any of these places, anyway?", aside from hermits or farm workers or people that don't like to go out much. Now before I hear any comments about me being "elitist" (the new "upity") let me just remind you that Odessa, Texas is on the list. What a cesspool west Texas is and Midland/Odessa (the bad taste twins) are only a rock's throw from Crawford, future retirement home to our own George W. No thanks, I think I'll pass, even without the future ex-president in the place polluted by same said ex-president's good work as the governor of Texas. Bravo, well done there. The only place on the list I'd even consider living is Portsmouth, NH, because it seems quaint and the leaves are probably beautiful right about now but soon the whole place will be blanketed under a couple feet of snow, and I'm signing up for the thanks-but-no-thanks column, sight unseen.

Now on to the losers---hard luck Michigan and California! Out of the 25 pee-you cities on our worst-of list, seventeen of these stinkers are in your two states! Thanks for taking it for the team! I did notice not a one were in Oregon, which suites me just fine, but ouch, 9% plus unemployment just plain smarts. Unfortunately in our house the unemployment rate is 50%, so I can't afford to dole out any sympathy for you all. Sorry, them's the breaks.

*We will be fairies for Halloween. There's so much tulle in my living room it looks like a bridal shop threw up in here.

It'll all be my fault

Google it

A friend sent me a graph charting the comparison of jobs created during the Clinton administration compared to the Bush administration, but don't worry, I'm not going to harp on that (fyi: 23 mil compared to 4.8) but instead talk about our helpful pal, Google. I use Google mail (gmail for the cool kids following along at home) and Google has built in a search engine that pulls info from your e-mail and suggests possible websites to go along with it, a "read more about" if you will. So, considering the subject of the e-mail I described above, two of the 4 google suggestions would make sense:

McCain Campaign
Obama T-shirts and Hats

The next item, government grant kits---ok, a bit of a stretch but the e-mail was about administrations so I guess we'll let that one slide. The last one I just don't get, a site about "center flow pilates". Did either Bush or Clinton support pilates in government programs because the blurb noted free private lessons to boot. That'll give me something to think about when I'm at the gym, exercising my rigth to.....uh, exercise. I'm going to have to pay more attention to what google thinks I'd like to learn more about, because evidenlty the google god thinks I have very broad political interests.

Have a great workout!

Art for sale

I have created 13 pieces for an art show/wine tasting I am participating in tomorrow to benefit an organization that uses horseback riding to help kids with emotional and physical disabilities. When I heard they were having a silent auction I volunteered a painting (with this photo included as a transfer) because iamnot had spoken highly of a similar organization his son belongs to; I thought it was a worthy cause. The organizers like the painting so much they asked me to have a booth at this fund raiser tomorrow, so that prompted me to paint.

I'm finishing up the 13 paintings today. Here's hoping I sell at least a few tomorrow.

Good work if you can get it.

So far on my unemployment I have:

• Organized our Fire on the Columbia float for Gay Pride
• Re-caulked the tub
  
• Had a garage sale
• Helped my friend Pat paint his closets and cabinets
• Put together Pat's patio furniture
• Scrubbed and stained the deck
• Added another coat of stain to the deck
  
• Painted the hallway
• Painted the french doors and frame
• Made curtains for the living room
• Completely rebuilt and upholstered Rufus' chair
• Completed a painting for charity
• Am currently in the process of completing 13 additional paintings for an art show
• Helped coordinate and set up Fire on the Columbia
• Did a bunch of gardening including producing a bumper crop of tomatoes (bumper for me, anyway)
  
• Helped install a new kitchen sink and rebuilt the plumbing when the old plumbing no longer fit
  
• Designed and constructed a halter top
• Put together a garden design for Diane
• Rewritten my resume and cover letter three times
• Started the new endeavor of fund raising for a non profit (surprisingly I am not the non profit)
  

The one thing I have not been able to accomplish:

• Acquired gainful employment

I tell ya, it's tough out there, only getting tougher as the economy slides into the crapper. It appears the only jobs available out are of the $10 an hour variety, and I bring home more than that on unemployment. Dire times indeed (although the house looks fabulous).

Our mess, in the middle of the street.

For probably the first time in six years the house in disarray because of me. There are paintings lying around in different stages of not-yet-done-ness, Rufus' "new chair", actually an old mid-century modern chair I am in the process of re-upholstering, scattered around in equal parts both old and new. Add to that assorted mail (mostly of the bill variety), wine corks, notebooks and candy corn, and you've got yourself a real mess. One that doesn't appear to want to rectify itself, which means it looks like I'm going to have to do it.

Which brings me to the point that it's about time it's my mess, considering I've lived here 6 years this Sunday.

Happy Anniversary, of sorts.

Yo, Joel!

A short shout out to Joel in SoCal, who let me know he reads my blog. Not like there's much to read here lately.

Yo, dawg.

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

VP or VIP?

I don't think a debater's performance should be deemed a success for the simple fact that she didn't completely make an ass of herself, but I guess that's just me. Avoiding the questions and rambling on about sludge is just okay-dokey, I suspect.

Jesus, she winked at the camera more than a used mattress salesman. Yesser, let's vote her in, because com'mon, her running-mate has a 1 in 3 chance of having a heart attack within his first term.

Gosh, and golly gee! She's just like me!*


*By that I suspect I mean she has the same experience as I do.

Cheers!

Today's "that day", the day Oregonians dread---the day you look at the 10 day forecast and realize the rain is starting. Every year early-October-ish the forecast starts looking a little heavier on the rainy-ish side than the drier partly-cloudy-ish side, which is the precursor for full-out-rain-ish-ness, or what we like to call Fall/Winter/Spring. This is the time of year I feel sorry for the transplants who moved here in early Summer, when the world was warm and golden, and they never saw this shit coming. Welcome to Portland, have a nice gray.

In preparation for the gray days, the Roommate went out and bought enough fireplace logs to last us through Halloween. I, in turn, decided earlier this week to throw a cautionary extra coat of stain on the back deck. And just in the nick of time, as I'm sure you've gathered. As soon as we stow away our flip flops and haul the window units back to the garage the house will pretty much be winterized. Now if I could only locate my close-toed shoes.

Make sure you catch the VP debates this evening. I keep hearing about Palin's wicked debating skilz but I'm thinking she better not count on those "deer in the headlights" looks if she's expecting to make a good show of it. I think a drinking game is in order to make the process a little more interesting. Everyone has to take a shot whenever she answers off subject and you have to drink two shots if she pulls out the "lipstick" joke one more time. Could make for a messy evening.

Ever been in a situation where you were in way over your head, no matter what you did you just kept going under until finally you desperately wanted to just be done with it already? That was me in my interview yesterday. Seriously it was as if I was interviewing for a completely different job than the one I interviewed for on the first go round. So we'll just say we've still got our feelers on and are still looking---only problem is there ain't a whole hell of a lot out there, even less than before.

Hard times, hard times.

Signs you can tell it's Autumn in Portland

1. Cornfield Maze on Sauvie Island is open for business.

2. Weather forecast calls for high temperatures no warmer than the low 70's for the entire week.

3. Everyone is either talking about the Ducks' or Beavers' games.

4. Rufus refuses to go outside to go potty because the deck is wet with rain.

5. The top is back on my Jeep.

It's all about choice.

I read this article from Dan Savage and I just gotta post it. Because this shit matters and he's summed up what I've been thinking...

The 17-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin, the GOP's vice-presidential nominee, is pregnant. The news was released by the McCain campaign during a busy news week—a major hurricane, the Republican National Convention, Dick Cheney getting us into a war with Russia—so it may not have received the coverage it deserved. So allow me to bring you up to date, gentle readers...

Seventeen-year-old Bristol Palin got her ass knocked up five or so months ago by 18-year-old Levi Johnston. Among the hobbies listed on Levi's since-yanked MySpace page—"fishing, shoot some shit, and just fuckin' chillin'"—was this revealing tidbit: "I don't want kids." But Bristol, says her mom, "made the decision on her own to keep the baby," and is now engaged to Levi "Shootin' Shit" Johnston.

As the adoptive parent of a child born to a pair of unwed teenagers, I'm certainly not in favor of abortion in all circumstances. But I believe that it's a choice teenagers should be able to make for themselves—with input from their families whenever possible—and, so it seems, does the GOP's VP nominee. Sarah Palin is pleased that her daughter made the decision—on her own—to keep the baby.

But Sarah Palin doesn't believe that other girls should be able to make their own decisions. Sarah Palin believes abortion should be illegal in almost every instance—including rape and incest. So Bristol Palin is being celebrated for making a choice that Sarah Palin would like to take away from all other American women. Apparently, today's GOP believes that choice is a special right reserved for the wayward daughters of Republican elected officials.

Oh, and Sarah Palin also believes that birth control shouldn't be made available to teenagers, she opposes medically accurate sex education, and she backs abstinence-until-marriage sex "education."

Sigh.

The GOP has poured hundreds of millions of dollars into abstinence "education" programs during the Bush years. I believe this enormous investment of public funds begs the obvious question: Are our children abstaining? Sarah Palin's aren't. Despite this massive outlay on the part of the American taxpayer and the example set by her Christian parents, Bristol Palin became sexually active while still in high school. Excuse me, but if abstinence education can't keep the daughter of the evangelical governor of Alaska off the cock, what hope is there for the daughters—and some of the sons—of average Americans?

I'm a cad for even writing this, of course, because shortly before Bristol and Levi were paraded before cheering throngs at the Republican National Convention, the Palins asked the media to respect their daughter's privacy.

Another special right: When it comes to respecting your family's privacy, Palin and the GOP see no need. They want to micromanage the most intimate aspects of your private life. And if their own kids fail to live up to the standards that Palin and the GOP seek to impose on your family, well, that's a private matter between the Palins, their daughter, their God, and the thousands of screaming imbeciles in elephant hats waving McCain/Palin signs on the floor of the Republican National Convention.

...........I have always felt that if you are against abortion, don't have one.

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle?

You guessed it.

I'd vote for Tina Fey for VP!

Watch this while you can. It's already been removed from YouTube for copyright infringements.

A little something for everyone.

Sing along, if you will.

Happy Birthday to me, indeed!

The Roommate got my friends together and got me this tiny token of appreciation for my birthday. They said they had ulterior motives for the purchase, that being that they want me to blog more---there's always a catch, isn't there? So now I no longer have to surf the internet on my hoopty, dead-screened laptop with an additional monitor attached. I guess I'll get rid of that crick in my neck from typing with my head slightly turned to the left.

So Thank You, Thank You, Thank YOU to Tammy and Jenn the Neighbor and Dana and Rich and Todd and Tracy and Katie and Diane and Vicki and Boytek and mostly The Roommate. As Aimee Mann always says in concert "Thank you so much, you guys are awesome!" Because you guys really are.

Now if you will excuse me I have to get back to playing with my new laptop. It ain't gonna surf for porn on it's own, you know.

Happy birthday to me!

Yup, another year older and little to show for it---except perhaps my fabulous tan.  Here's hoping next year is better.

Cheers!

Politics as (un)Usual

While most of America was in front of the boob tube watching the newest mouth piece of the Religious Right and big oil pat her cronies and herself on the back, I was attending a rather large birthday party for Sam Adams, the mayor elect for Portland (and he looks like Clark Kent, too!).  Portland is the largest city in the US with an openly gay mayor and I have a feeling we will be seeing big things from him.  I sat and spoke for a good long time to Sam's mother and grandmother and I gotta tell ya, I saw more love and family values in those two ladies than in that entire convention in Minnesota on the TV in the corner of the room.  

But about the GOP.  Damn, they're old.  It's a good thing Palin's family was there because those kids brought the median age of the room down a few years.  If Cindy McCain is one of the youngest-looking people in the room, you know you're addressing the retirement home.  And what's with all the cowboy hats?  Did they give them out free at the door?  I thought you guys were distancing yourselves from Bush and his wrangler ways.

But seriously, if Sarah Palin piles her hair up any higher she'll be required to move to Texas.  Just saying.  And as far as her thoughts on energy, maybe she should read this little piece from Robert Kennedy Jr---but then he's a Democrat, so there's no place for this leftist thinking in McCain's administration, controlled by big oil and "clean coal", and for which Palin is so ready to back.

But this is funny.  

The Friday after Last Thursday.

You know it's a good Last Thursday (art walk in the hippie part of town) when you come home with a tutu and tiara and $125 lighter. And the morning after you have a hang over and can't find your purse.

Ah, the arts...

Oh weatherman, where art thou? I want to find you so I can kick your ass.

Since it's summer I keep the top off the Jeep to enjoy the 3 months of decent weather.  Since the top is off I keep a close eye on the weather to prevent myself from driving a swimming pool.  The extra weight of the puddled water really fucks with my gas mileage.  This morning on my daily walk with Rufus the Magnificent I noticed grey skies and upon returning to the house I promptly checked 6 weather websites to see if I needed to take preventive weather measures and was confident that I did not after 5 sites gave me the "fear not" and one pessimistic site gave me a slight chance of scattered showers.  This gloom and doom site promised that it was probably over-reacting and on second thought gave it a 20% chance of sprinkles before noon so seriously, don't sweat it.  So I took that as a sign to feel confident that the Jeep was safe from anything more than a light sprinkling of moisture, sure to evaporate before I even noticed it even rained.

Unbeknown to me it was raining the entire time I was checking today's weather, as well as the 10 day forecast.  Sometimes I think the convenience of technology gets in the way of solving simple issues.  Had I simply looked out the window I would know my Jeep was turning into a swimming pool.  Sometimes you have to be smarter than the weatherman. 

Right now the sun it out.  Screw you, weather guy.

Happy Birthday, Ramen!

I heard on NPR that Ramen Noodles turned 50 today! You know what that means, Ramen is younger than Madonna! Oh, and also that some of those 50 year old noodles are probably on a 7/11 shelf somewhere. Check your expiration dates, kids, because like Madge, those old noodles have overstayed their welcome!

Mid Summer's Night Dream

Last weekend the fabulously wonderful Roommate took me to fabulously wonderful Ashland for the fabulously wonderful Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Althought Othello, which we saw in the outdoor theater patterned after the Globe, was wonderful, problem is at 8:00 at night it was still over a hundred degrees out. At one point in the day the Roommate asked me if I was ok, because I was so quiet, and I told him "You know how my blow drier turns itself off when it gets overheated?" and he said yes. My reply was a point to my head with an added "Same thing here".

So, anywho, Othello was sweltering. Then Sunday afternoon we saw the most originally designed and inspired performance of A Mid Summer's Night Dream. It was visually amazing and the spin the director took on the delivery was insane, very modern and sarcastic. We all know Suz loves sarcasm.

Here's our Mortals after their night of frolic.

And here's our Mechanicals, planning their play.

Hippolyta and Theseus with their over the top furniture.

The Fairies, with Puck in the background.

And Oberon. Love the feathers, Dude.

Visually stunning! Modern dance music! Sarcasm! Fabulous costumes! A very fresh take on what could have been just another boring re-staging of a well known classic. Standing Ovation All Around! It was so wonderful and beautiful I actually cried at the end. Check it out, I insist.

Weather update

Remember on Friday when I was bitching about it being over 100 degrees here in Portland? Well, it's been raining and in the 60's since Sunday night, so needless to say I am leery about making any wishes right about now. Also it means my Jeep is a swimming pool---what fun!

A few weeks ago the Roommate and I participated in the Bridge Pedal, a bike not-s0-race including 8 bridges and about 24 miles. Today a neighbor gave us a photo of our "team". I look worn out, huh? I had gotten my front break replaced a few days before and the installer kinda fixed it to where the break pads rubbed the rim, unbeknown to me at the time, so I ended up working a lot harder than I needed to. For the whole 24 miles. In that light I will not feel guilty for not working out if I should miss a day or two in the next month.

More on my fun weekend later. Gotta pretend to go to the gym now.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

It is going to be hot in Oregon today and tomorrow, 103 each day. Now, Iamnot will tell you this is practically chilly weather by his standards, but I have a feeling Iamnot has central air conditioning in his house. The Roommate installed 3 window units at our abode yesterday, one in the living room, one in my bedroom (for Rufus, of course) and the third in his attic bedroom. When he plugged his a/c unit in the thermostat read 101---inside temperature. It is a chilly 68 as I type this.

Pool Party today at Miss Di's! See you in the deep end.

....and now in Political News....

Barack Obama got a huge pat on the back earlier this week when he led a crowd in a robust reciting of the National Anthem. He didn't miss a single word.

And on the too-ridiculous-for-words front, over the weekend John McCain spoke in front of a group of motor cycle enthusiasts (weekend warriors, and in Sturges, dude!) and really let that charisma shine. His cardboard cut out protested four dollar a gallon gas by revving up a bunch of Harley Davidsons. THAT'LL SHOW THE OIL GIANTS! And by damn, it must be working because I noticed yesterday that gas is at $3.99 a gallon here in Oregon! Good job, John!

It certainly dosn't take much to impress us, does it? We're doomed.

Flugtag

It was my intention to go to Flugtag and watch the competition yesterday, maybe get a few funny photos to post but the scene on the waterfront was unreal. I was stuck in the middle of a crushing crowd for 20 minutes trying to get half-way through a city block when we gave up and went to a bar instead. Today I checked Red Bull's Portland page and it seems they estimated the crowd yesterday at 80,000. That's ten thousand more than Obama pulled at a rally on the very same spot two months ago---but then Obama didn't serve beer.

Only in Shreveport---It's not the "butt of the boot" for nothing.

This sign was posted on the window of a Pizza Hut in the town I grew up, Shreveport, Louisiana.

Seems Shreveport was without water last Friday, hence the "no ice". They were evidently also without spell check and grammar.

It's curtains for you!

The Roommate has decided that the reason our house is so cluttered with junk, swarming with insects and dirty with pet hair is because we don't have decent window treatments in the living room. Guess who's making curtains tomorrow.

Yep, me. Because that makes more sense than cleaning, I guess.

On Being Good

This morning Rufus relentlessly barked his fool head off at the neighbors causing mommy much aggravation. I went outside and told him to be good.

This is his "but I am being good" look.

Note the freshly stained deck in the back ground. You're welcome.

I forgot to mention...

...that I sold this in our garage sale last Saturday for $20. Someone else's pain in the ass now.

Happy Birthday, Rufus(es)!!!

Today is Rufus's birthday, he is 35 years old today.

Today is also Rufus's birthday, he is 35 (dog) years old today.

More Eddie!

Because I care............

Whoooowooooo!

The Jetta sold. I'm going to Acadia!

Look at me, all into YouTube!

Last night had the pleasure of attending the Eddie Izzard show here in Portland. I've been a huge fan of his work for ages, at least 6 years when I accidentally stumbled over him on his HBO special, Dress to Kill. If you aren't familiar with Mr Izzard, he's a stand up smart and clever comedian who's hook was that he was a cross-dresser, something he's given up in the last year or so. Here's a clip from Dressed to Kill:



After the show last night I noticed a crowd gathered around a tour bus so the Roommate and I waited to see if Eddie showed up at the stage door. Our friend, Vicki, said she had seen where he'd do Q&A after some of his shows on this Stripped tour but he didn't wait around for questions, just announced he wouldn't be signing autographs. So of course the Roommate asked him for his hat. I did get a hand shake though! If you enjoyed the clip above check him out on YouTube or rent one of his many videos.

Did I mention I got to shake his hand? Yes, another brush with fame.

Hail Suz, full of grace. Too bad, "It was funnier last time".

Sunday we had another pool day over at Lady Di's and for some reason (probably the vodka) we started doing cheers off of the "white trash diving board" (courtesy of yours truly, of course---who else would drag a second-hand exercise trampoline over to Lady Di's lovely estate). This is the Roommate's cheer. Enjoy.

Go Bears! More like "Go Bars".

Here's something I haven't done before....

....and I don't say that too often at my advanced age. The Roommate's Jetta is for sale on Craig's list; mention my blog and receive a coupon for a free set of fuzzy dice. If I get it sold the Roommate will take me to Acadia for dinner, and we know the only thing Suz loves more than fried chicken and Jesus is good Cajun food. So get out your checkbook and check this puppy out. I'll even get the Roommate to personally autograph the title with a greeting like Amy Sedaris signed in a copy of her book for the Roommate: "I love you, seriously. Pee on me".

2000 5-speed Jetta GLS, clean and runs great!

Must drive to appreciate this silver, 4-door sedan, with tons of extras:

* gray leather interior

* premium stereo w/6 CD changer

* sun roof, take advantage of the sun!

* alloy wheels

* A/C!

One owner, the infamous Roommate, kept this car meticulously maintained!!!! 28 MPG!!!! Perfect running condition!!!!

You know you want it.

Back on the train.

This weekend Our Rusty mentioned that my train commute this time last year made for good blog stories, so this post is dedicated to him. I drove the Roommate's car to the dealership today and dropped it off for a lookie-see since he's trying to sell it and that damn "check engine" light is back on. Not a good selling feature. So instead of waiting around for hours I took the MAX 80 blocks to my neighborhood gym. Let me tell you, the crowd riding in from Gresham isn't a particularly pretty one and since I am unemployed and shiftless I fit right in. I am on day 4 of my hair washing strike I blended in nicely with the other train riders, so I was glad I didn't stick out like a sore thumb. There was a rather gangly looking woman sitting across from me wearing a sports bra and a pair of stained jeans held up by a belt with a cannabis belt buckle. Classy. Her 2 year old kept grabbing the folds in her exposed gut and kneading the wad like bread dough. Also there was a well dressed and stereotypically sassy young black lady who was snaking her head and bitching someone out on her cell phone. "Oh no, you will not hang up on me. Not unless you want all your fucking shit on the lawn when you get home". She was evidently angry that her wrong-doing man was supposed to pick her up so she could get her car but instead she was riding the train with the rest of us low-lifes. Every time she mentioned "shit" or "fuck" the classy woman with her cannabis belt buckle would shoot her a dirty look, like her kid never heard those words before. When I told the to the Roommate he added "Like the kid hadn't SEEN those words either".

Surprisingly, no one got of the train with me at the gym. Interesting.

That's our Rusty!

Our Rusty and his softball team came to Portland last weekend for a tournament and I was lucky enough to watch them win a game Saturday evening!

Unfortunately Lady Di attended the Sunday games and evidently jinxed the Rockets, so they lost both games. No worries, though, the players were ready to start the beer drinking portion of the weekend at that point.

Our Rusty's team nickname is Noodle Arm, because sometimes when he throws the ball his arm doesn't cooperate and it lands on the ground about 3 feet in front of him.

The other Seattle teams have another nickname for him. Rustard. But it's ok, everyone from the Emerald City league loves him. Portland too, for that matter. It was great to see Rustard and made me realize how much I miss him.

...and by popular demand.......

Since I haven't posted a shot of my little angel, Rufus with a cat ashtray.

This weekend's weather,

Friday Jul 4 Few Showers High 74°F Low 61°F Precip: 30% Wind: SW at 8 mph UV Index: 7 High Humidity: 68% Sunrise: 5:28 AM Sunset: 9:02 PM Cloudy with a few showers. High 74F. Winds SW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 30%. Length Of Day: 15 hrs 34 mins

Saturday 5 Few Showers High 76°F Low 61°F Precip: 30% Wind: SSW at 8 mph UV Index: 5 Moderate Humidity: 70% Sunrise: 5:29 AM Sunset: 9:02 PM close details Few showers. Highs in the mid 70s and lows in the low 60s. Length Of Day: 15 hrs 33 mins

Sunday 6 Partly Cloudy High 78°F Low 57°F Precip: 10% Wind: NW at 7 mph UV Index: 8 Very High Humidity: 65% Sunrise: 5:29 AM Sunset: 9:02 PM Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the upper 70s and lows in the upper 50s. Length Of Day: 15 hrs 33 mins

Last Updated Thursday, Jul 3, 8:11 AM Pacific Daylight Time

Happy 4th of July!