Election round up: Iowa

When I was getting ready for work this morning I decided that my New Year's resolution would be that I wouldn't comment on politics on this blog at all this year---people get up tight if you don't agree with them and I've come to realize it just futile to voice an opinion. But I've decided it's gonna be too hard not to, what with all the humor laid out before us on the nightly news with "decision '08". So I'm changing my resolution to not commenting on my particular beliefs, just reporting the "voice of the people" as I see it. And knowing how dumb people are, it would be too funny to pass this shit up. So, here is my take on the caucus in Iowa yesterday, broken down to it's most basic meaning.

It's a great day in America because the people of Iowa have spoken! Not sure what they said, it was a little garbled and kinda sounded like a very faint "see, we're not that racist" * but according to the news outlets, they've said something loud and clear! Let the bells ring out and the banners fly, a new day is upon us! As far as the Democrat's race is concerned, I think the people pretty much said they don't particularly care for a certain former first lady (and they wish to point out that they are using the term "lady" loosely) and that they like her slightly less than Edwards, mainly because he did not spend enough money on advertising in their fair state, hence not doing his best to help the local economy. The people of Iowa also said that while they'll go ahead and throw a vote to a person of color, they are drawing the line at crazy religious freaks of the Mormon persuasion although they are A-OK with crazy Southern Baptist freaks. Also it appears they don't like pushy New York City mayors in Iowa either, 9-11 or not. My dog Rufus was not on the ballot but I wonder if he'd have scored at least a vote or two; he's got a little less experience than Obama but knows how to "praise Jesus". As a geography exercise, let's see if we can find the state of Iowa on a map (hint: it's not in Europe).

But wait, catch your breath and don't celebrate (or pout) too long. New Hampshire is right around the corner! All this craziness has already wound itself up into a frenzied in the North East! Climb on the campaign bus and hold on, it's going to be a bumpy year.


* According to what I heard on CNN last night, Iowa has never chosen an African American in any election; they said "any", I'll say "any major election" to be on the safe side. Although I did not check this fact (too lazy and apathetic and it sounds like I'd have to google it or something) I am going to accept it as the truth---until someone else does the leg work and proves it false. Then I'll meekly recant.