Friday random thoughts

As I was walking to a customer appointment today I wondered if anyone else had a glass of wine too many last night and used the money set aside to pay their Neiman's card on a case of Sinister Hand. Yeah, probably not.

The Roommate and I had lunch at Red Star specifically because they served this awesome fondue but the waiter let us know it was no longer on the menu but they did have a nice cheese plate. The Roommate asked the waiter if he could toss it in the microwave and serve it with some bread but evidently that's just not done there. So we had potato leek soup and dunked our bread in it instead.
This is how out of shape I am, the Roommate bought a Wii and we spent the last two evenings (until about 1 am) playing virtual tennis. I woke up this morning and the muscles in my right arm are sore so evidently I have virtual tennis elbow or something. My legs are a little stiff as well. Who'd have thunk playing a video game would hurt more than your social life?

And finally, here's an e-mail a friend sent me. Kinda funny but I think we should really do it.


Dear Red States... We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. Peace out, Blue States

Cheezy goodness?

Evidently there is more to making mac and cheese from scratch than just melting cheese and adding pasta. I guess I should have googled that before I ruined twenty bucks worth of cheese. Lessons learned.

Maybe I should stick with Kraft.

Update: At the suggestion of the Roommate, I baked it and guess what! Turned out pretty good. I was thinking fondue poured over pasta...........'cause I kinda have a thing against casseroles. Too 1950's housewife.

3:10 to Crazy

Yesterday on my commute home the train was packed. I had worked about 20 minutes later than usual and wasn't going to waste any more of my precious evening waiting for the next train, so I barreled in and found a place to stand and hug a pole. As I stood there I could hear a woman to my right a few seats laughing intermittingly; I assumed she was eavesdropping and not exerting much effort to hide the fact, because she didn't appear to be traveling with anyone else. Once a few stops opened up a seat near the giggler, I jumped at the chance to sit so I could read my book, enabling me to refrain from polite chit chat. Once seated, perpendicular to the giggler, I noticed she was holding a medium sized paper Coke cup and looking at it intently. I also noticed she was speaking to it in an indistinguishable mumble. She would occasionally pause, to listen to the cup's response, I assumed, and burst into her crazy cackle at what the funny cup must have replied. Oh, that clever paper cup was such the cut up, I tell you! Kept my loco fellow commuter in stitches until I was able to escape at my stop. The things you experience on the train! Oh, what a rich and crazy way to travel!

I'm gonna be sick.....even thought I washed my hands!

Gross. This report states that American men are less likely to was their hands after using the restroom than American women....and buy a lot. The report shows that one third of the men observed did not was their hands after using the bathroom, and we all know what you are touching, where as only 12% of women failed this common sense task. Now ladies, don't start patting yourselves on the back so quickly because your numbers have fallen off 2% since this same report came out two years ago. And this survey also shows that men have worsened their already soiled numbers, boosting their percentage from one quarter from just two years ago.

What does this mean (besides me toting a Costco sized vessel of hand sanitizer around with me)? We are either getting lazier or dumber. Or probably both. And that's a dangerous combination.

Think about that the next time you reach into the sample bin of snacks at the grocery store. Some one's been there before you and chances are they had poo hands.

It takes almost a whole roll of packing to encase a woman's torso.

No, I'm not sick. Just weird.

Hmmmm, this doesn't look like painting the trim in the livingroom, does it?

Someone call off the blog gods, your prayers have been answered!

Yeah, I know. Two posts in one day. It's practically a miracle.

I just wanted to share a couple things with you.

1. The rock is still in my sink. The other items have mysteriously disappeared but the rock is sticking around.

2. I received no less than 17 bottles of wine for my birthday. I KNOW, THERE IS A GOD!

3. Breast cancer isn't funny but this is. I saw it in an article in Vanity Fair and was so enamored with the genius and creativity of the campaign that I didn't even notice who was responsible. Check it out.

Weekend fun.

The Roommate is going out of town (again) this weekend so it means I have the house to myself and I get to do a few of my favorite things! Here are a few of my favorite things to do on a weekend that I have all to myself:
Paint the trim around the windows, doorways and along the floorboards through out the living and dining room. Throw in a fresh coat of paint on the mantle just for shits and grins.
Clean the filthy bathroom, for extra fun remove nasty calk around the tub and enjoy the tranquil feeling of applying new calk.
Put away the knickknacks we need to store since all they do now is cover the dining room table.
When I say these are my favorite things to do when I have a weekend to myself, I mean these are the tasks the Roommate feels I would enjoy in his absence. Too bad he hasn't seen my bedroom lately or he'd suggest I do something about the 5 foot high pile of laundry that is rumored to cover a chair in there. If memory serves it seems we have a washer or drier thingie in the basement somewhere.

This weekend is not likely to be confused with last weekend which consisted of:
Friday: our company's 10th anniversary party at Edgefield which was an afternoon of something resembling golf and then a lovely sit down dinner.
Saturday: my birthday pool party and pub crawl
Sunday: wine tasting all afternoon (not really a wine tasting, more like "yep, that tastes like wine") followed by a friend's really fun wedding reception that evening.

I wish it was last weekend again.

Things in my sink

Things in my kitchen sink today.........

Pop sicle stick
Thai noodles
Bud light can
Paint brush
Rock


Uuuummmm, the rock doesn't belong. Yeah, that's it.

Besides, we love the smell of paint

I wish I had gotten a photo of the eggplant living room wall with the orange, medium brown and dark poo brown color samples on it because it really told a story. The samples were each about 2 feet by 2 feet and it painted a story of equal parts indecision and desperation. And compromise because we decided to go with the just-drank-a-bottle-of-pinot-noir shit brown color, you know, the $5 mis-matched gallon of paint I started off with 3 wasted weekends ago, but after we got it slathered up there we decided the satin finish was a little too flat and a shinier finish would pick up the light better. So we're going to be adding a glaze to it to heighten the color, which of course means at least one more layer of paint. Yep, the room keeps getting smaller with each coat of paint applied to the walls. Soon the huge orange couch won't fit in the room anymore and we'll have to buy a love seat to replace it-----and then start the whole color choosing process over again.

I went over to Out of Character and was pleasantly surprised that Erin had put her sock monsters up for adoption on Etsy and as luck would have it, I snatched up one of the last two available monsters. I'm so excited! Can't wait for the box to arrive. Erin's is one of my absolutely favorite blogs, so check her craziness out and maybe you'll be able to snatch up the last remaining sock monster. Hurry, supplies limited.