This one goes out to Leigh, who's bored today.

On your average a Portland summer day doesn't usually consist of:

a) really hot temperatures
or
b) balmy humidity

There's a few smells that are most unpleasant on a hot, balmy day (for instance B.O., dog shit and vomit come to mind) but right up there on my list of offensive hot smells is a whiff of patchouli oil, and we have a lot of hippie types up here in Portland. I got stuck walking behind someone wearing an overabundance of patchouli oil just this morning and it being hot and balmy I decided to head back to the office quickly and stay there the remainder of the day because there are a lot of hippie/street beggers/weirdos all over downtown Portland, especially around Pioneer Square which is a block from my office.

The bank I had to visit this morning is right on Pioneer Square and as I was entering the bank a man in wildly patterned board shorts and what appeared to be a wildly patterned T-shirt exited the main entrance. I say it "appeared to be a wildly patterned T-shirt" but on closer observation it turned out to actually be his bare torso with an elaborate tattoo covering only the skin that would normally be covered by a short sleeved shirt. Did I mention each of his nipples were pierced and had 6" dangling paper clip chains attached to each? And he had a loop piercing his back, kind of like a talking baby doll would have. Kind of a little too "different" for business casual, even for the Pacific Northwest.

Once inside I was approached by a clerk who was standing right at the entrance; I commented that the man who just left probably shouldn't wear such a loudly printed pair of board shorts with a tattoo as it really kind of clashed. The teller laughed and said "You should of heard the question he just asked me" so of course I asked. Turns out the man went into the bank to find out if anyone working there knew where he could get glow in the dark nipple clamps. Yep, only in Portland. I told the teller he should have told the guy he gave the last pair out just this morning to an elderly lady who opened a checking account.

And in case you are wondering, they can be had here. Thank god for google.