Hey there!

No, I wasn’t arrested and thrown in the slammer because I was rowdy at the wine tour. No, I wasn’t abducted by aliens. Nope, not sick. Not dead either. Just been buried at work and have way too much going on at home, or recovering from way too much but that’s a story for later (maybe later today, maybe tomorrow).

Anywho, I just want to point out a few others who haven’t been posting so I won’t feel so bad for myself. There’s Word of Fur, Boobs, Girls are Pretty. And who even know what happened to Starlett? She's just become anti-social, that's what. So it’s not just ME. If you’re going to punish me, punish everyone else.

But what I will say is it’s interesting to be working in Downtown Portland again. If’ you’ve never visited our lovely Rose City then you probably don’t know that our downtown is a magnet for all the weirdoes, crystal meth heads and crazy homeless people ever to roam the earth. I mean it’s not like the weather three quarters of the year is anything to drag people here for, as I’ve said before it’s raining from mid October to just after Independence Day here. But the crazies love this place, must be the over abundance of crystal meth around these parts. I am taking the light rail into work now and today I got to watch two middle aged strangers share stories about their tattoos and then share stories about their prison stints. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

And an alarming trend is occurring in the part of town where I live. The other night the Roommate was awaken by a loud crash and since we rarely get thunder storms up here, he knew it wasn’t weather. He stumbled outside to where a crowd was forming around a Volvo parked on the side of the road. Well, it wasn’t exactly parked in the road anymore and it didn’t look so much like a Volvo anymore either. Someone had brutally sideswiped it, caved in the entire driver’s side and pushed the majority of the car up over the curb and onto the sidewalk. Yesterday on my way to work I came across two cars in the same condition only a few blocks away. Either vandals are getting more brazen or hit and run, drunk drivers make a point of roaming our neighborhood. And no, it wasn’t me in either incident, than you very much.

So, anyway, I do have some fun photos of Wine-O Tour, 2007! It was an excellent excursion this year and a great time had by all. Stay tuned for more.

Wine-O anyone?

Evidently I am a dumbass because today is Wine-O tour and I set my alarm for 8 am but accidentally changed the time as well so I got up at 7 am. Yep, I'm a genius and have a little free time on my hands now. When I woke up an hour early, my first thought was that I hadn't heard from the limo driver yesterday, as I was supposed to, so I called him and turns out he had forgotten he was driving us today. Yep, plum forgot. Good thing I called him or we would be sitting here eating quiche and potato salad all day and drinking a lovely boxed pinot gris I squirreled away as a back up. That would have seriously sucked ass. Yesterday, while I watched the grocery store cashier ring up my many hundreds of dollars worth of quiche fixings it dawned on me that I have a serious mental problem. There is so much more to putting this yearly event together than just picking up the phone and scheduling a limo. That would be super easy. No, I have to make breakfast for 24 people and then plan a BBQ after drinking all day as well. I'm surprised I didn't make the hamburger buns from scratch and, come to think of it I probably could have since I have this extra hour on my hands. Maybe next year I'll stick to the boxed wine backup plan instead; we'll all be drunk by noon anyway, so who'll know the difference.

I promised these photos of Bart's wake/birthday party earlier this week so I guess I better post them before the blog police come after me for breech of contract or something. Bart wanted a fun and memorial party for his thirtieth so he asked a few of us to plan one for him. So we did----an because most of the people in our large group of friends are well over thirty, we decided to kill the youngster off. So we had a wake, I dressed up as the grim reaper and whisked him away from his birthday dinner in front of his friends and an entire restaurant of diners. Rob was good enough to play photographer. Enjoy.

Death informs young Bart that she is here to collect his youth. I suspect I got to play the Grim Reaper because I'm the oldest and therefore closest to actually meeting the Grim Reaper soon. Or maybe I just look like death, not sure.

Our plans to rent a hearse fell though so we borrowed a car that looked enough like one.

Bart lying in state at his wake.

Remember the part at the beginning of this post where I pointed out how I make events more complicated than I need to? Well, as if planning a wake weren't difficult enough I went ahead and assigned myself the task of building a funeral wreath from scratch. RIP. Have a fun Memorial Day weekend! Hopefully I'll stay sober long enough to take a few photos at the wineries. So, yeah, don't hold your breath.

Gasp! Coming up for air!

I have been getting a butt load of crap from all fronts for not posting and I just gotta say "Eh". I can only do what I am physically able do. And that usually doesn't involve spelling. But no one is bitching because I'm not reading their blogs, because I haven't had a second to even brouse the internet. Crack and nose to the grindstone. Or wine glass, depenting on the time of day.

Rusty and his softball team are off to Minneapolis to compete in a tournament so to them I say "If you don't win, lose big and make a lasting impression!" If last year is any indication, well then let's just say their presence was felt.

Can you feel it in the air? It feels a little like a big stretch SUV full of drunken WINE-O's! Just a few days away and all are so excited we could collectively piss our panties.

Ok, that's it for you lot today. Don't say I didn't post!

Damn, I miss H&K.........NOT!

I have made it through the first two days at New Job and I must say this is the easiest flow into a new company that I have ever experienced. Let’s see, my first day at H&Ks brought me the realization that their standard install intervals were 60 days were my former company’s was 21 days. That was my first impression of H&K, that “can’t do” attitude. My first impression of New Job was learning a new customer’s internet was turned up in record time for their grand re-opening (mishap with some flames and such). Perhaps the easy transition is because I’ve been kind of working for my new employer part time for a week or two. Perhaps it’s because New Job was a customer of mine for 7 years and a lot of New Job’s customers were my customers as well. Perhaps it’s just because New Job is a great place to work chocked full of great people. Perhaps it’s because I’m super smart. Hmmm, it’s sure not that. Maybe it’s the drugs, I don’t know.

Ok, there aren’t any drugs, so it must be the job, but I had you there for a second, didn’t I? All is finally great on the professional front and that makes for one happy Suz.

On my first day here the Roommate asked if I had taken care of something and I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, to which he asked why? I stated I was new and he snapped back “how long do you think you can use that excuse?” and I stated that it work for a year at H&K so I suspect I could rely on it for 3 days here. That’s today so I guess I need to get my shit together.

In other news I am really enjoying Rufus Wainwright’s new CD, “Release the Stars” and have been listening to it non stop since it’s arrival on my front stoop. Particularly tracks #5, “Between My Legs”, #8 “Slideshow”, #1 “Do I Disappoint You” and the final, title track, “Release the Stars”, a plea to Hollywood to allow gay actors to come out of the closet. Good music all and everyone absolutely MUST hear it.

Also, this Sunday is our annual Wine-O Tour, 24 of my closest friends are packing into a limo to explore the best Pinot Noirs in the world, right here in our own backyard. Should be fun and many memories will be lost due to the flowing of the wine.

And finally, this past Friday night we had a wake for our friend Bart for his birthday. Great party and I will have photos and stories to tell soon.

Just as soon as I get a handle on Day Three at the New Job. Take care!

Busy!

Sorry! More later, I swear! Again....so much. You'll forgive me later.

Clean up on aisle 2

If there’s one thing that will ruin a good mood, it’s a trip to the supermarket. No matter how long I am in a grocery store, I quickly reach the anger level of wanting to scream at the top of my lungs because even the most intelligent of people quickly insert their heads firmly up their asses the second they cross the threshold. I swear once people start searching the shelves for the product they desire the completely forget other people exist and zone out on their surroundings. Hello, I’m standing here two inches from your oblivious self, looking directly at you because you are blocking the entire aisle, your shopping cart blocking one half, your big, over-fed ass completely blocking the other half. Do you seriously need to stare at the sugar coated cereals that hard? I mean you know if it’s primary ingredient is sugar, you’re going to eat it. Just grab a fucking box and move on, elephant woman. And no, you don’t need to go over all the ingredients for tonight’s entire menu right here in front of the coffee grinder. I know you think you’re standing in your living room and don’t even know I exist but it happens to be the ONLY coffee grinder in the store (ie: your living room) so I would kind of like to grind up my beans in it, please. Or if it’s too much trouble for you to take two steps to the left, I could just take the coffee home as is and use a hammer to smash them for my morning coffee. The Roommate will really love that clatter while he sleeps in.

And I’m not even going to go into the shopping carts with fewer than 4 working wheels.

But the absolute worst plague of the dash in and out grocery shopper is the insufferable mother who has to use every waking moment of the day to entertain her offspring. I seriously don’t understand why grocery shopping needs to be playtime for a toddler. I don’t need your rug rat pushing their own tiny shopping cart at a snail’s pace down the center of the frozen food section, creating a rush hour traffic nightmare for those of us who don’t particularly have the entire afternoon devoted to a grocery shopping play date. Instead of instructing your child to pick out the red box of cookies, “Does Booboo see the red box of cookies? Red cookie box? Find the red box.”. Instead of color theory classes how about you drag your obese offspring over to the produce section and do a real quick nutrition lesson. “Broccoli is better than cookies! Eat green!” And don’t get me started on those oversized shopping carts that are shaped like cars or seat several toddlers at once. Sweetie, you parents don’t know how to drive them in the first place and if your mother pushes it’s front bumper into the back of my ankles ONE MORE TIME I’m going to LOSE IT ON HER ASS. Lock the kids in the car while you shop, like my mom always did, and FYI, you never saw me complain. Mainly because I hate grocery shopping.

Heavy sigh. I’m off to the grocery store as having food in the house is kind of a basic necessary. And if I scream at your shopping cart for blocking my way, I hope you understand and get the children out of the area. They may be learning new words that you probably don’t want your little bastard to hear at the grocery today.

PS I have an idea! I'm going to start a chain of grocery stores that have an entire aisle of hard liquor, everything from bitters to everclear! That way minors aren't allowed to come in. Plus the obvious bonus of one stop shopping.

Woopie, I think.

Here it is, my last day at Hugs and Kisses and I'm frantic. Transferring files, taking care of lose ends so this is going to be short.

See, I said it was going to be short. More later.

One more "get up".......

...........and I'm jazzed!

That's Our Rusty!

I had planed on posting the story about the Time Our Rusty Met Rufus Wainwright on Monday because it was Rusty's birthday but I didn't have time, what with splitting my time between the old job and the future job and yesterday was just insane. So here I is Wednesday so I better "git er done".

A few years ago Rusty, The Roommate and myself ventured up to Vancouver BC to meet up with Boytek and take in a Rufus Wainwright concert. Because I am all obsessive like that and Rufus is my "Grateful Dead". We had a lovely dinner in Downtown Vancouver and then headed out to the club to take in the show. Rufus was his amazing and awe inspiring self and near the end of the performance a handler walked up to Boytek and asked him if he wanted to go backstage to meet Rufus after the show. Boytek, being the prince he is pointed to me and said "She is the one who should go backstage and meet him, she's his biggest fan!". Not exactly what the guy expected to hear but he obliged, gave me a wrist band and told me to meet him at the stage door after the show. Well, I was just beside myself! I had met Rufus before but this would be the second time and two is better than one!

After the show I left my party and waited at the stage door with a group of other people, mostly young, cute, gay men; we were ushered in and THERE WAS RUFUS! The Gay Messiah! I waited for my turn to meet him, standing in line with the others and then, oh yes! I was next. And know what happened? Allan Cummins CUT IN LINE….RIGHT AHEAD OF ME. I swear, some gay actors think they are JUST the SHIT. He hobnobbed with Rufus for a bit longer than I think he should have been able to and then stood with some other VIPs near Rufus and chatted. I was then gestured up to shake Rufus's hand and I'm sure I stuttered/mumbled something about being his biggest fan and was whisked to the side so the next fan could shake Rufus's hand. The Roommate stuck his head through the door and said they were heading to a club and when I was through I should meet them there but quite frankly I felt stupid standing there watching other people meet Rufus. So I rejoined my party to hit the town.

We went to one bar and since it was a Wednesday it was pretty quiet to we headed to another bar within walking distance. Boytek wasn't feeling well so Trey escorted him back to the hotel while Rusty and I stayed to see what trouble we could get into. I was chatting with a Canadian (imagine that!) who was trying to convince me that I alone could cause Bush to not be re-elected single-handily since I had Canada's backing when in the middle of the conversation Rusty ran up to me, grabbed my arm and dragged me across the bar and out to a back patio. He dragged me up to a group of men talking, grabbed one by the shoulder, spun him around and said "This is my friend Susan" to which Rufus Wainwright replied "Yes, I met her an hour ago backstage". We exchanged pleasantries and tried to stay mingling with the Rufus and Allan Cummins group. We tried to blend in with the cool crowd but Rusty assed up making fun of the way Rufus laughed so I mouthed the words "I'll keep him away from you" and moved Rusty a bit away from the A team. I later scolded Rusty that if he had behaved himself we probably could have hung out with rock and movie stars all night long.

Rusty ran into Rufus on the street in Seattle a few weeks ago and posed for a cell phone photo but forgot to save it so it so there's only the proof of his word and the word of his friends that it happened. But because it was Sunday morning they were all probably drunk so I doubt it really happened. I mean, who fails to save a photo of himself and the Gay Massiah..........uh, that would be Rusty.

And that's why we always say "That's our Rusty!" Happy Birthday a couple days late and Happy Birthday to Bart as well. When you know what your birthday plans are, let me know!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RUSTY!

Today is Our Rusty's birthday and I had every intention of giving him his honorary birthday shout out, a story I have been saving concerning Vancouver, BC, Rufus Wainwright and Rusty! but I was so busy with the two jobs that I didn't get a chance. Sorry sweetie! It's coming, I swear! And I posted the ever suave photo of you in Prague because it's a very flattering photo. Next year's the big one, huh?


Happy Birthday! Can't wait till our weekend next month!

Week's End Wrap Up

Here's a run down of the week thus far:

Put in my 2 week notice at Hugs & Kisses. I actually slept well all week for the first time in ages. First day at the new job is the 21st (one week shy of my anniversary at H&K) and I have already been issued my laptop. Excitement abounds and in one short week I will never have to drive to Tigard EVER AGAIN. As god is my witness!

Found out the turtle under the deck is actually a possum. I took Rufus to the doggie park this morning and was informed by Animal Services that I have been allowing Rufus to roam out of the off leash area without a leash and the fine is $150 but I was let off with a warning. Since I had Animal Services right there I asked him if they could come out and take care of the possum thingie for me, pretty please. Turns out possums fall under the jurisdiction of Fish and Wildlife (possum gone wild anyone?) but they will not trap it, I would have to rent a trap and notify F&W to come and "dispose" of the vermin. Turns out wild animals once they are in the big city can't go home again. They become exposed to diseases (clap, crabs) and can't be returned to the wild where they would spread it to their unsuspecting wives (story as old as time I'm afraid) so it's capitol punishment for them.

Gas prices are way out of line. I filled up my tank yesterday, FIFTY BUCKS! That's right, we've hit a milestone. For those readers who are below or at the national average of just over three dollars a gallon up here in Portland it's hovering around three bucks fifty. I am soooooooo glad I will get to stop spending well over $200 bucks a month on gas as I will be able to take advantage of my TriMet pass and can ride the train to work. Or bike to work. Or both (ride my bike to the train station and train it in). That would have been unheard of if I was still living in Dallas (mass transit is for the domestic help only). The one good thing to come about by the stupid-high price of gas is it's changed my perception about driving every-damn-where, even 5 blocks to the grocery store. I now walk (at least while the weather stays nice) to the grocery, wine and video stores now (usually with Rufus so bonus for him there) and consolidate other trips. Look at me! I am becoming a good-ish person!

That's about it, and ain't it about enough. Have a good weekend and take a hike!

Turtle hunting 101: they don't wear fur coats

It seems the turtle under the deck has moved location slightly. I assumed this because Rufus is no longer barking at the middle of the deck but now at the far corner that is encased on two sides by dirt and not just more deck wood. Just to be sure this was where the turtle had moved to I asked Rufus "Where is the turtle, is it over here where it was before or is it now over here by the edge of the deck?". Rufus looked at me a little oddly (Turtle?) and then responded by sniffing the first spot I pointed to and then pouncing on the new spot by the edge and barking and scratching the deck. Check, position confirmed. Since it's under the edge of the deck I decided to dig under the boards and see if I could grab the turtle. I started digging a small tunnel then put on a garden glove and poked around a bit. I hit a dirt wall so I evidently had more dirt to remove. I made the hole wider and deeper and then used a hand spade to pull out what I assumed to be any dirt keeping me from the turtle. Then I touched something that gave a little, was kind of soft, so I poked it a bit with the spade. Whatever I touched growled a little so I of course poked it again (just like in horror movies). It growled a little louder. Since this scenario doesn't go down so well in movies I decided to pack in my digging, grab Rufus and go to plan B, which was ignoring the situation for a little while. Once safe inside the house I got a note pad and wrote the following message to my neighbor Marie:

Marie,
I think I may have found your turtle but before I stick my hand under the deck there's a couple things I need to know:
~Does your turtle growl?
~Does your turtle bite after it growls?

I signed the note, stuck it to the neighbor's front door and took Rufus to the doggie park.
When I returned from our romp in the park I decided to take a look at the hole to see if the turtle was slowly making it's way out of the escape hatch I dug for it. To my surprise I could now see grey fur sticking out of the hole. Either the turtle had somehow acquired a fur jacket or this was something other than a reptile. Common sense pointed to the latter and I assumed the creature was a raccoon. I guessed raccoon since I had noticed several raccoons at different parts of our neighborhood in daylight lately, which is odd, the daylight part, but it's what came to mind. I went next door and removed the note and instructed Rufus that he wasn't allowed out in the backyard without constant supervision until I had gotten rid of the raccoon.

When I returned to the house after meeting the Roommate for dinner, I commented that maybe it was a soon-to-be mama raccoon, to which Rufus wasn't very happy. I went to let Rufus outside but once he got near the back door he started going ape-shit. To my horror I noticed a pinkish-grey varmint in the backyard, slowly making it's way across the lawn. I recognized this beast by it's close resemblance to Country Western singing star George Jones---a possum (or opossum, depending where you grew up). This bugger is going to be a little more complicated to remove than a turtle, biting variety or not. I let the neighbor know I had thought I had located her pet but turns out no unless her turtle hangs by it's tail from a tree branch.

What to do, what to do? Not sure how to evict a possum, that is I no longer know any hillbillies since I left Louisiana, hence no one to fix possum stew. A co-worker offered me the use of his firearm but I declined; I think I'll see if someone will trap it for me and release it to some wooded farm, like the farms where old dogs go to live out their golden years. Stay tuned.

Crazy, I think you're crazy......

If you google image "crazy" you get "oops, I did it again".......

I cannot tell you how miserable it is to have to work a job that you've mentally checked out of already. All these issues seem petty and I just want to leave it for someone else. Like for instance, today a Care rep said she needed my customer to fax her some state paperwork concerning an acquisition, so rather than bother the customer, I looked up the info on the California Secretary of State site and pasted the link to that info into an e-mail and sent it to her. She e-mailed me back saying that it was the exact info she needed but that she couldn't accept it as a link. She needed me to print off the info and fax it to her. Think about that, I had to print it off and fax it to her. Who faxes anymore? If she needed it FAXED couldn't she print it off herself and fax it to herself? Or wouldn't it be easier to print it off and have that nice clean copy that's ever so easy to read to put into that file that no one's ever going to look at? Jesus. The things I put up with here (but not for long---yea!).

Today on my way to work I made a point of checking out the prices at the 4 gas stations on my route, since the ol' tank is getting a little low. The rock-bottom-bargain-price was $3.41 a gallon, the highest was $3.49. I need to buy some quick before the price tops three-bucks-fifty. Know what's causing the price to rise? Refineries are producing at 90% capacity, and there's not a shortage of oil, just lazy ass employees I guess. So the only explanation they aren't producing more in spite of no diminished supply ---except for the obvious reason, gouging--- is laziness so evidentially refineries are staffed by ex-Hugs and Kisses employees. It's the only reasonable explanation I can come up with.

And here's a little exercise for you from a conspiracy theory about 9/11. I'll spare you all the theory part and just jump to the end because it's just kinda interesting.

Open Microsoft Word and type in Q33NY, which was the flight number of the first plane to hit the Twin Towers. Highlight and change the font size to 48 and the typestyle to "windings". Freaky. Looks like some geek at Microsoft was working overtime with the pranks to me.

One lingy-dingy. Two lingy-dingy.*

Perhaps I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have turned in my two weeks because I didn't know we'd have H&K FIGHT CLUB! The order entry guy just had a screaming fight with a sales guy and I was IM-ing about it with 3 other employees and snickering in my cube the whole time. That's what happens when you take a huge office with only a handful of people spread all over the place and then cut the space in half and smush all the employees together. Tempers flare and voices rise and I just snicker and joke about it over IM. Damn, I put in my notice and then crap starts getting fun around here.

One of my customers just asked how he can get an international toll free number for China (calls from China are route here) and I told him I could request it but it takes H&K 90 days to activate. He needs it next week and wants me to escalate. I'll just get on the horn to the Chinese government and see how much pull I have on that one, I'm sure I'll have it all wrapped up tomorrow, COB. Short-timer just don't care that much. If you google image "Chinese telephone company" you get this photo, which describes the new China phone company. I think 90 days is a little optimistic.

Did I mention our microwave here at work doesn't work anymore. I told you the appliances and office equipment were revolting and that's just more proof. I think I'll take Friday off before the fax machine grows a ray gun arm.


*If you get this you are old and racists. Kinda like me.

Remember this post? Well, it's all official and everything but I got me a new job and will be kissing off Hugs and Kisses on the 18th. The microwave doen't work here anymore so that's it, I'm gone! I have been offered a position with a company I completely respect and love the people I will be working with and there just isn't any downside for leaving here that I can see. Can't wait to start and am a bit bummed that H&K didn't show me the door today. Oh well, can't have it all.

Iamnot thinks this turn of events will make my writing suffer, just like Starlet who doesn't write anymore now that she's not working with crack whores, dodging bullets and all anymore. We'll see. I will be working in Downtown Portland so there will be plenty of crazies to bump into.

Anyway, three cheers for me!

5 Questions

I got on the interview band wagon from Will at Be the Boy; he asks the questions, I answer, that's how it works.

1 – What inspired you to start The House of Suz blog and what inspires you to continue?

I started reading Miss Doxie a few years ago and really enjoyed her writing. Then I came across Out Of Character, which is probably my favorite blog (sorry Will) and notice a “start your own blog” button on Blogspot and the rest is history.

What inspires me to continue blogging is an equal portion of desire to write, guilt when I fail to regularly and my friends that nag me if I even miss one day. But mostly the last one.

2 - In your writing you frequently mention your dog and your roommate, how did you meet them both?

I met the roommate through work, he was in the indirect sales division of the company I worked for and I was in customer service. There were problems with service for one of his customers, a very high profile customer that was spending a lot of money with us, so I was asked to help out. He used goofy terms like “If it’s teamwork, it doesn’t seem work” in e-mails so at first I thought he was a little on the goofy side. Then one day he joined our sales team for drinks after work and he was the only one to laugh at my Jesus joke. We became fast friends immediately and he is the person I am closest to in my entire life.

One day about 3 years ago the Roommate, Boytek and I went to the mall to watch a movie. We got there a little too early so decided to do some shopping, I by myself, The Roommate and Boytek together. I noticed this cute German Shepard puppy at the front of the pet store and when I ran into the Roommate he commented on the cute dog in the pet store I asked “The German Shepard puppy” and he said no, another one. He brought me deep into the pet store to put where all the kennels were and there was this average looking puppy. I didn’t think he was that cute---until he rolled over on his back and put his paws over his ears. The pet store employee notice me looking at him and took us all to a private room, during the movie I decided I wanted the dog and was going to name him Rufus. The Roommate had been suggesting I needed a dog so he bought him for me as a Christmas gift. The rest is history.

3- Do you want to know who reads your stuff?

I am more interested in where the reader is from (what city, country) than who it is, unless they leave clever comments. Then I check them out.

4 – Has there been anything you have written that you wished you could have back once it was posted?

Nope. I haven’t written anything that controversial, but sometimes I cringe at my spelling.

5 – What can House of Suz readers expect in the future?

A big announcement and then more of the usual.

If you want to be interviewed by House of Suz, leave me your e-mail address in the comments.

And now for something completely different...

If you google image "happy" this is what your first option is.

Can't say just yet but what I have been waiting for has finally arrived and it's EVEN BETTER THAN I IMAGINED!

Stay tuned. I have to go through "process" and we all know how much I hate "process".

Time to scrub one computer.....

*

Friday when I worked from home the weather was extra nice so I left the back door open so Rufus could come in and go out as he pleased. He likes to lie on the hot tub cover in the sun, you see , but also likes to wander in and bark from the front window at people on the sidewalk. So all day long he'd come in and go out but around mid day I heard him barking in the back yard , assuming he was barking at the dog in the yard behind ours. When I went out to hush him I realized he was barking at the deck. Looking straight down at the boards, barking at the deck. Every time he went out he'd bark at the same spot on the deck and I pretty much thought my dog had finally lost it, maybe had eaten some of that tainted dog food and it made him nutty. But then Saturday morning he didn't bark at the deck at all , I guess the deck had lost it's luster or something. I forgot about the barkable deck.

Saturday afternoon I was out on the deck, sitting in the sun and working on some paintings. I could hear our new neighbors to our left out in their backyard, as could Rufus, who proceeded to bark at them. I yelled "Rufus, be good" and from the other side of the 8 ft hedge I heard our neighbor Marie say "If Rufus finds a box turtle, we lost one , he tends to wander off---that's how we got him ". This is probably the second time since October that I've talked to the new neighbors and I couldn't even see them. She said he'd probably have found the turtle by now and was likely to go into hibernation soon, being out of it's element I guess . I assured Marie that had Rufus found a box turtle he'd be so proud he'd have to show me his find.......and that's when I remembered his barking at the deck. The turtle had to have crawled under the deck and hunkered down, having crawled under by the stairs where there was a small opening and wandered about 6 feet deep under the deck. I'm sure it's highly unlikely to lure the turtle out with bagged spinach (which I did try) and there's no way we 'd be able to take the deck apart as it's screwed from the underside and I'd have to take the deck completely apart starting from the opposite side just to get to the left side where the turtle is hunkered down. Marie joked that she was going to put up some "lost turtle" fliers, like people do for their dogs. So, I told the new neighbors we had not seen the turtle but if it turned up I'd let them know.

Big sigh on Sunday when Rufus still didn't bark at the deck.

And then Monday Rufus started the barking at the deck back up, and at this point I was convinced the turtle was under there, in hiding . But what to do? I can't take the deck apart. Period. And if the turtle dies his stench will ruin every summer BBQ we throw. Maybe I'll see if I can dig a tunnel under the deck and grab the missing turtle. Hope it's not a biting turtle. This all leads me to wonder, why don't people leash their turtles? Leash laws are required for dogs, why not turtles since they tend to wander off and ruin BBQs.

*If only the turtle was under this part of the deck, no brainer.

Nothing accomplished.

Funny how things go, ain't it? Four years ago today Prez Bush stood before the "Mission Accomplished" banner and declared major fighting in Iraq was over. Tomorrow he'll veto a military funding bill that has a timeline for withdrawal in Iraq attached. Mission doesn't seem so accomplished after all and the body bags coming back from Iraq are pretty much proof. No wonder he doesn't want a timeline since we're still there FIGHTING after accomplishing our mission four-fucking-years ago. Duh.

Also in news today was the startling announcement that recruitment officials have been able to keep to their quota for enlistment. Yeah, when you lower standards, like not requiring high school diplomas and accepting convicted felons, then hell yeah, everyone's signing up, what with the signing bonuses and all. And you get paid to kill people, too! It was commented that under-educated recruits won't be up to keep up with our already low standards for a "high tech" Army. Guess Kerry was right with his earlier comment about the skills of our troops. Oh well, since the mission is already accomplished and all, I guess it really doesn't matter that much now, does it?

And recruitment of African-Americans is half what it was 4 years ago, as is the support of the war amongst African-Americans. Seems an already somewhat disfranchised chunk of the population is even less likely to vote Republican in the next Presidential election. Just a head's up; consider yourself warned.

Update on the waiting game: still waiting. I'll keep you posted.