Get out the vote!

In Oregon we vote by mail; no lines at the voting booth and the ballot comes right to your door! A group of our friends got together Wednesday to discuss the measures and candidates and in the end I picked up three ballots to drop off at the designated sites (you can either mail them in or drop them off, if you are keen on saving the stamp).

Just about any place can be an official drop off site but I opted to pass on the McDonalds in Hollywood---french fry-scented ballots just didn't seem to have the right vibe for a presidential election with no candidates from the deep south. Aside from driving all the way downtown, the only site I was aware of was the Obama headquarters on Killingsworth. Seems like a possible conflict of interest there but it's close to the house so that's where I went. When I walked in I held up the three ballots encased in their double envelopes and asked the ancient ladies at the desk where I should deposit them. The entire place broke out in cheers, people clapped and banged on pots---it was quite a show and extremely loud. I felt like a 3 year old using the toilet for the first time, Look who made a boom-boom in the potty! I've previously voted in, what, 7 presidential elections, and this was the first time I was congratulated on it. That's right, 'bout time I got my props! Just to ease my mind that I was actually voting one of the ancient ladies had me fill out the form, sign for each ballot and deposit them in a locked, wooden box. Democracy in action.

Yesterday afternoon someone from the Obama campaign called to remind us to vote (registered Democrats we are); I let them know we'd already voted and I was told we'd be taken off their reminder list. What about the commercials, can you make them stop as well? I wanted to ask. I voted, as far as I'm concerned it's over and I'm just waiting for the victory party on Tuesday, but still I'm going to have to sit through the radio and TV commercials for another 5 days, and the local ones are just plain constant. I bet the Mattress Giant is chomping at the bit to get a commercial on TV because it seems like I haven't heard from him in a while.

Oh, and remember to vote. Don't make me call you.

Trick or Treat

I'm making a Domokun costume (just the head) for a friend's son for Halloween. Let's see how it turns out.

Nice to hear from the WASSSUP guys.

Money Matters

What with all the economic turmoil in the world today, it's good to know where to move to find a job when you get your pink slip in the next few weeks. Luckily for us lazy folks, MSN has compiled the lists of the top 25 best places to find a job and the top 25 best places to remain unemployed. Take a moment to click on the links and review our choices. Don't worry about me, I'll just keep on making tutus* while you window shop.

---Musical interlude---

Ok, we're back. So, looking at the best places to find work as listed by MSN, the first thing that pops into my mind is the question "Who in the hell would want to live in any of these places, anyway?", aside from hermits or farm workers or people that don't like to go out much. Now before I hear any comments about me being "elitist" (the new "upity") let me just remind you that Odessa, Texas is on the list. What a cesspool west Texas is and Midland/Odessa (the bad taste twins) are only a rock's throw from Crawford, future retirement home to our own George W. No thanks, I think I'll pass, even without the future ex-president in the place polluted by same said ex-president's good work as the governor of Texas. Bravo, well done there. The only place on the list I'd even consider living is Portsmouth, NH, because it seems quaint and the leaves are probably beautiful right about now but soon the whole place will be blanketed under a couple feet of snow, and I'm signing up for the thanks-but-no-thanks column, sight unseen.

Now on to the losers---hard luck Michigan and California! Out of the 25 pee-you cities on our worst-of list, seventeen of these stinkers are in your two states! Thanks for taking it for the team! I did notice not a one were in Oregon, which suites me just fine, but ouch, 9% plus unemployment just plain smarts. Unfortunately in our house the unemployment rate is 50%, so I can't afford to dole out any sympathy for you all. Sorry, them's the breaks.

*We will be fairies for Halloween. There's so much tulle in my living room it looks like a bridal shop threw up in here.

It'll all be my fault

Google it

A friend sent me a graph charting the comparison of jobs created during the Clinton administration compared to the Bush administration, but don't worry, I'm not going to harp on that (fyi: 23 mil compared to 4.8) but instead talk about our helpful pal, Google. I use Google mail (gmail for the cool kids following along at home) and Google has built in a search engine that pulls info from your e-mail and suggests possible websites to go along with it, a "read more about" if you will. So, considering the subject of the e-mail I described above, two of the 4 google suggestions would make sense:

McCain Campaign
Obama T-shirts and Hats

The next item, government grant kits---ok, a bit of a stretch but the e-mail was about administrations so I guess we'll let that one slide. The last one I just don't get, a site about "center flow pilates". Did either Bush or Clinton support pilates in government programs because the blurb noted free private lessons to boot. That'll give me something to think about when I'm at the gym, exercising my rigth to.....uh, exercise. I'm going to have to pay more attention to what google thinks I'd like to learn more about, because evidenlty the google god thinks I have very broad political interests.

Have a great workout!

Art for sale

I have created 13 pieces for an art show/wine tasting I am participating in tomorrow to benefit an organization that uses horseback riding to help kids with emotional and physical disabilities. When I heard they were having a silent auction I volunteered a painting (with this photo included as a transfer) because iamnot had spoken highly of a similar organization his son belongs to; I thought it was a worthy cause. The organizers like the painting so much they asked me to have a booth at this fund raiser tomorrow, so that prompted me to paint.

I'm finishing up the 13 paintings today. Here's hoping I sell at least a few tomorrow.

Good work if you can get it.

So far on my unemployment I have:

• Organized our Fire on the Columbia float for Gay Pride
• Re-caulked the tub
  
• Had a garage sale
• Helped my friend Pat paint his closets and cabinets
• Put together Pat's patio furniture
• Scrubbed and stained the deck
• Added another coat of stain to the deck
  
• Painted the hallway
• Painted the french doors and frame
• Made curtains for the living room
• Completely rebuilt and upholstered Rufus' chair
• Completed a painting for charity
• Am currently in the process of completing 13 additional paintings for an art show
• Helped coordinate and set up Fire on the Columbia
• Did a bunch of gardening including producing a bumper crop of tomatoes (bumper for me, anyway)
  
• Helped install a new kitchen sink and rebuilt the plumbing when the old plumbing no longer fit
  
• Designed and constructed a halter top
• Put together a garden design for Diane
• Rewritten my resume and cover letter three times
• Started the new endeavor of fund raising for a non profit (surprisingly I am not the non profit)
  

The one thing I have not been able to accomplish:

• Acquired gainful employment

I tell ya, it's tough out there, only getting tougher as the economy slides into the crapper. It appears the only jobs available out are of the $10 an hour variety, and I bring home more than that on unemployment. Dire times indeed (although the house looks fabulous).

Our mess, in the middle of the street.

For probably the first time in six years the house in disarray because of me. There are paintings lying around in different stages of not-yet-done-ness, Rufus' "new chair", actually an old mid-century modern chair I am in the process of re-upholstering, scattered around in equal parts both old and new. Add to that assorted mail (mostly of the bill variety), wine corks, notebooks and candy corn, and you've got yourself a real mess. One that doesn't appear to want to rectify itself, which means it looks like I'm going to have to do it.

Which brings me to the point that it's about time it's my mess, considering I've lived here 6 years this Sunday.

Happy Anniversary, of sorts.

Yo, Joel!

A short shout out to Joel in SoCal, who let me know he reads my blog. Not like there's much to read here lately.

Yo, dawg.

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

VP or VIP?

I don't think a debater's performance should be deemed a success for the simple fact that she didn't completely make an ass of herself, but I guess that's just me. Avoiding the questions and rambling on about sludge is just okay-dokey, I suspect.

Jesus, she winked at the camera more than a used mattress salesman. Yesser, let's vote her in, because com'mon, her running-mate has a 1 in 3 chance of having a heart attack within his first term.

Gosh, and golly gee! She's just like me!*


*By that I suspect I mean she has the same experience as I do.

Cheers!

Today's "that day", the day Oregonians dread---the day you look at the 10 day forecast and realize the rain is starting. Every year early-October-ish the forecast starts looking a little heavier on the rainy-ish side than the drier partly-cloudy-ish side, which is the precursor for full-out-rain-ish-ness, or what we like to call Fall/Winter/Spring. This is the time of year I feel sorry for the transplants who moved here in early Summer, when the world was warm and golden, and they never saw this shit coming. Welcome to Portland, have a nice gray.

In preparation for the gray days, the Roommate went out and bought enough fireplace logs to last us through Halloween. I, in turn, decided earlier this week to throw a cautionary extra coat of stain on the back deck. And just in the nick of time, as I'm sure you've gathered. As soon as we stow away our flip flops and haul the window units back to the garage the house will pretty much be winterized. Now if I could only locate my close-toed shoes.

Make sure you catch the VP debates this evening. I keep hearing about Palin's wicked debating skilz but I'm thinking she better not count on those "deer in the headlights" looks if she's expecting to make a good show of it. I think a drinking game is in order to make the process a little more interesting. Everyone has to take a shot whenever she answers off subject and you have to drink two shots if she pulls out the "lipstick" joke one more time. Could make for a messy evening.

Ever been in a situation where you were in way over your head, no matter what you did you just kept going under until finally you desperately wanted to just be done with it already? That was me in my interview yesterday. Seriously it was as if I was interviewing for a completely different job than the one I interviewed for on the first go round. So we'll just say we've still got our feelers on and are still looking---only problem is there ain't a whole hell of a lot out there, even less than before.

Hard times, hard times.

Signs you can tell it's Autumn in Portland

1. Cornfield Maze on Sauvie Island is open for business.

2. Weather forecast calls for high temperatures no warmer than the low 70's for the entire week.

3. Everyone is either talking about the Ducks' or Beavers' games.

4. Rufus refuses to go outside to go potty because the deck is wet with rain.

5. The top is back on my Jeep.

It's all about choice.

I read this article from Dan Savage and I just gotta post it. Because this shit matters and he's summed up what I've been thinking...

The 17-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin, the GOP's vice-presidential nominee, is pregnant. The news was released by the McCain campaign during a busy news week—a major hurricane, the Republican National Convention, Dick Cheney getting us into a war with Russia—so it may not have received the coverage it deserved. So allow me to bring you up to date, gentle readers...

Seventeen-year-old Bristol Palin got her ass knocked up five or so months ago by 18-year-old Levi Johnston. Among the hobbies listed on Levi's since-yanked MySpace page—"fishing, shoot some shit, and just fuckin' chillin'"—was this revealing tidbit: "I don't want kids." But Bristol, says her mom, "made the decision on her own to keep the baby," and is now engaged to Levi "Shootin' Shit" Johnston.

As the adoptive parent of a child born to a pair of unwed teenagers, I'm certainly not in favor of abortion in all circumstances. But I believe that it's a choice teenagers should be able to make for themselves—with input from their families whenever possible—and, so it seems, does the GOP's VP nominee. Sarah Palin is pleased that her daughter made the decision—on her own—to keep the baby.

But Sarah Palin doesn't believe that other girls should be able to make their own decisions. Sarah Palin believes abortion should be illegal in almost every instance—including rape and incest. So Bristol Palin is being celebrated for making a choice that Sarah Palin would like to take away from all other American women. Apparently, today's GOP believes that choice is a special right reserved for the wayward daughters of Republican elected officials.

Oh, and Sarah Palin also believes that birth control shouldn't be made available to teenagers, she opposes medically accurate sex education, and she backs abstinence-until-marriage sex "education."

Sigh.

The GOP has poured hundreds of millions of dollars into abstinence "education" programs during the Bush years. I believe this enormous investment of public funds begs the obvious question: Are our children abstaining? Sarah Palin's aren't. Despite this massive outlay on the part of the American taxpayer and the example set by her Christian parents, Bristol Palin became sexually active while still in high school. Excuse me, but if abstinence education can't keep the daughter of the evangelical governor of Alaska off the cock, what hope is there for the daughters—and some of the sons—of average Americans?

I'm a cad for even writing this, of course, because shortly before Bristol and Levi were paraded before cheering throngs at the Republican National Convention, the Palins asked the media to respect their daughter's privacy.

Another special right: When it comes to respecting your family's privacy, Palin and the GOP see no need. They want to micromanage the most intimate aspects of your private life. And if their own kids fail to live up to the standards that Palin and the GOP seek to impose on your family, well, that's a private matter between the Palins, their daughter, their God, and the thousands of screaming imbeciles in elephant hats waving McCain/Palin signs on the floor of the Republican National Convention.

...........I have always felt that if you are against abortion, don't have one.

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle?

You guessed it.

I'd vote for Tina Fey for VP!

Watch this while you can. It's already been removed from YouTube for copyright infringements.

A little something for everyone.

Sing along, if you will.

Happy Birthday to me, indeed!

The Roommate got my friends together and got me this tiny token of appreciation for my birthday. They said they had ulterior motives for the purchase, that being that they want me to blog more---there's always a catch, isn't there? So now I no longer have to surf the internet on my hoopty, dead-screened laptop with an additional monitor attached. I guess I'll get rid of that crick in my neck from typing with my head slightly turned to the left.

So Thank You, Thank You, Thank YOU to Tammy and Jenn the Neighbor and Dana and Rich and Todd and Tracy and Katie and Diane and Vicki and Boytek and mostly The Roommate. As Aimee Mann always says in concert "Thank you so much, you guys are awesome!" Because you guys really are.

Now if you will excuse me I have to get back to playing with my new laptop. It ain't gonna surf for porn on it's own, you know.